


Worlds Away

by Cats_Obsessions



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But not totally light either, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mention of Past Abuse, Modern AU, Neighbors, Not so dark Kylo Ren, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-The Force Awakens, Rating May Change, Red String of Fate, Romance, Seattle, Slow Burn, The cosmic force, Unkar Plutt owns a pawn shop, light depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-09 17:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15272892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cats_Obsessions/pseuds/Cats_Obsessions
Summary: After working in the First Order for 5 years, Kylo Ren feels the pull to the light. Rather than turn against his master, Snoke, he seeks shelter elsewhere. The cosmic force leads him to a far far away planet known as "earth" where he meets Rey, a young woman with an intriguing past.Join Kylo/Ben as he navigates earth life and seeks the thing the force brought him there for - his destiny.





	1. So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this concept out of my head. It is absolutely going to take on more humor as we get further into the story and Ben's earth adventures. We will also learn more about who he is as a person in this alternate universe, but I will tell you right now that, though he did turn to the dark side, he is softer (and lighter) than TFA Kylo. Thus, leading to his desire to leave the First Order and Snoke's grasp. Don't worry though, he still has a lot of darkness and deep-rooted problems.
> 
> Please feel free to comment with culture shock you would like Ben to experience!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: catlo_rey  
> Instagram: zorkmanscat_makes_art

In the palm of his hand, the small compass lay holding the key to his future. Kylo Ren closed his eyes and channeled the force. He reached out; first, to the room around him. His own force signature unsteady and chaotic, he could feel the air circulating around him, the subtle but distinct buzz of the force through his compass. Then further into the ship, the emotions of the stormtroopers and workers were chaotic as usual. Lastly, he felt the looming darkness: the very thing he was running from. 

He pushed out the voices, the darkness, and all the distractions. Just for a minute, he could focus without it. That's all he had: a minute before Snoke or whatever else called for him would break through his barrier and see his plan to escape their abuse. 

Kylo focused all his power on the compass in his hand. The counterpart to one he had owned long ago, the small, round object was made of a worn gold fitted with a crimson red lodestone that sang of the force. Its ornate lid was embellished with designs depicting the stars of a far-off solar system. Inside, intricate gears and a rose that seemed to point without the aid of gravity or logical direction. “These compasses will guide you to where you need to be” he remembered hearing many years ago. “In a time of need, they will show you the way.” Now was that time for Kylo. 

With a deep breath, he focused his energy on the lodestone and allowed himself to follow its force signature and surrender to whatever that fate may bring. “It shouldn't be too hard if it is the will of the cosmic force.” He could feel it leading far away like it was tethered to some far off location and was presenting him with a road to get there. His sense of his own body had faded, no longer aware of any physical sensations he could only feel the rush of energy and life around him. 

It was as though he had been standing in a cargo bay in deep space when the doors were blasted off and the depressurization ripped his soul out of his body, thrusting him into the blackness. Suddenly, he felt his body hit a hard surface as his limbs went numb and weak. Wheezing to regain the breath knocked out of his lungs, sensation began to come back to him: cool air laced with the pungent scent of low tide and urine, the hard surface he was lying on, asphalt perhaps, the sounds of machines or ships nearby, and a hazy glow of street lights and neon somewhere. Oh maker, was he in a Corellian back alley somewhere? 

Kylo pulled himself up from his position on the ground, his entire body aching with the physical pain of being hurled through space by the force, coupled by the toil of his own exhaustion. He folded space. He actually folded space, with the help of the cosmic force and an ancient relic imbued with power, of course. 

He braced himself on the brick wall of the ally with one gloved hand, the other still gripping his compass as he stumbled towards the lights and noises nearby. The cool air around him cut through his black, long-sleeved shirt. He chose to wear something less conspicuous than his regular robes and mask for this particular journey. 

He hobbled out of the alleyway and onto the street, nearly bumping into a dense looking man dressed in a printed shirt, black leather jacket, and blue, slightly worn pants. “Woah there, buddy. Had one too many, huh?” The guy said with a grin. Kylo glared back as he continued to survey the area “Where is this?”. The lug barked again “Wow, really lost it then. You're on Capitol Hill, man.” Capitol Hill? Could this entire city be a hill? It certainly couldn't be the planet's name, right?

“Hey” Kylo called before the man could walk away. “I like your jacket” 

“Oh, thanks. I-” before he finished Kylo waved his hand subtly “You want to give it to me”. “I want to give you my jacket” the man said while taking it off and handing it to Kylo. With that, he turned and continued down the street as though nothing happened.

At least they speak Basic here, for the most part. Kylo slipped on the jacket, placing his compass in the pocket. The man was a little smaller than he was, but thankfully the jacket fit well enough to make him fit in more. He walked up the street weaving between the groups of people and taking in the smells wafting out of bars and restaurants. The nightlife seemed to be bustling and the clothing styles certainly reminded him of Corellia, but many of them were so much more grungy. There was nothing nearing the ornate styles of Alderaan or Chandrila here. No, he was definitely not in the known systems, and it didn't even seem like the outer rim. 

It was at that moment he noticed the streets. They weren't open for people to walk in. No, there were ships and speeders parked along them, but something was very wrong with them. His eyes scanned the scene when one of these speeders drove past. It was rolling, on wheels! The ships didn't fly at all. It was like a hybrid of outdated airspeeders with the ancient carts he had seen in the outer rim and uncharted territories when he was young. 

He stood, staring at the strange contraptions wracking his brain for some explanation of what planet he was on. He was only jolted out of his thought process when the small and delicate frame of a young woman collided with him. “Oh, I'm so sorry.” she offered him in what sounded like a Coruscant accent as she trodded away from him. 

He may have been drained from the travel, but Kylo Ren was no chump. The small girl slipped into the nearby alley, assuming he wasn't watching. But he followed behind her quietly. Once they had both rounded the corner where they wouldn't be seen he easily reached out and gripped her wrist tightly, stopping her in her tracks. 

“Hey!” She whipped around and sneered at him, attempting to yank her wrist free. At her resistance he easily pulled her closer to grab her other wrist, pinning both against the grimy wall. “Give it back.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“I don't know what you're talking about. Let me go!” she spit back. “You know exactly what I mean, you scavenger.” his hands tightened around her wrists. He wasn't going to let some girl take his only belonging, and perhaps his only way back to his system. He leaned in closer to her face. With surprising gentleness he lowered his voice “The compass. Give it to me.” His new position allowed the light behind him to cast over her face. Her large brown eyes looked up at him without fear, and the freckles plastered across her rosy cheeks looked like maps of the galaxies. Catching his own reaction, Kylo loosened his grip on her wrists and leaned away from her, hoping the shadow cast over his own face was hiding his curiosity. She looked familiar. Like a dream of some sort. However, the middle of an interrogation was no time to become interested in some human female on a distant, and clearly ignorant, planet.

“Oh- Oh you mean that was your compass.” she emphasized “your” as though she didn't pull it right out of his pocket. A skilled picker she may have been, he didn't miss the change in the force signature. “I didn't mean to take it” she continued displaying her fake innocence... or was it sarcasm. “Yes, I have it right here. I just found it on the ground. I would never steal anything!” She motioned to her pocket with her head. Kylo moved her wrists closer so he could hold both in one of his hands while he pulled the compass out of her pocket with the other, never taking his eyes off of her. She was very slim and very fit. Her waist was toned with perfect curves, he thought. When he looked back at her face, compass in hand, a small blush had spread across her cheeks, but she was probably flustered at him for catching her. 

“You should be careful who you steal from next time.” He said as he released her wrists. She immediately began rubbing them with her hands, silently accusing him with her glaring eyes. “Do you always assault women in the back alleys of Seattle?” Her bitterness apparent in her words. 

Kylo let out a huff of air as the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. There was something he liked about her, but he wasn't sure what; something special. Before he could open his mouth to say anything she had stormed out of the alley and back onto the streets, leaving him to wonder what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired by Luke's compass that we see in Battlefront 2 and TLJ. The compass used to belong to Ben. While it is speculated that the compass held a map to Ahch-To, I thought it would be an interesting concept if there was a compass that would lead a force sensitive person to where the cosmic force willed, even without traditional means of travel.
> 
> I did take a few artistic liberties with the force and this idea, but "fold space" is a force power mentioned in legend lore http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fold_space
> 
> And if you aren't familiar with Luke's compass, here it is. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luke_Skywalker%27s_compass  
> For the purposes of this story, Ben has a different compass that was made as its counterpart.


	2. Kylo Ren Needs a Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins with Kylo's flashback to one of his interactions with Snoke. There is a light description of abuse, so if that makes you uncomfortable, skip the first 3 paragraphs. Just know Kylo saw a vision of what would happen if he continued down the path he was on (think what would've happened if Rey wasn't there and Kylo got the map to Luke in TFA. So, a whole lot of death and destruction).
> 
> Thank you sooo much for everyone who has commented or left Kudos! I'm really excited about this story, so it has been so nice to see some of you are too!. <3  
> 

The force around his throat squeezed relentlessly. It was futile, but he reached to his neck in some vain attempt to remove the invisible hands cutting off his airway. “You have failed me”. The pressure rose in his head as he was lifted off the ground, feet dangling ever so slightly. He could feel his eyes becoming bloodshot. “I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me?” The voice boomed. He could feel the veins in his head swelling and his eyes glazing over. “Kylo Ren, so-called master of the Knights of Ren. I gave you power. Without me you are nothing. I once thought you strong, but you falsify my assumptions. Now, look at you. You are weak, only the foolish son of a criminal and a thief.” As the edges of Kylo's vision blurred from red to black and his consciousness began to fade, Snoke finally dropped his body to the floor with a thundering crash.

The ancient master of the force strode across the throne room gingerly. His emaciated form moved slowly, but it was not to be mistaken for weakness; where his body was failing him, the tyrant made up for in his power and cruelty. Kylo couldn't speak from the pain of the ordeal, though he knew his words would be lost anyway. “Someone must atone for this mistake, my apprentice.” Snoke said, coming closer still. His ghostly arms reached out towards Kylo, and oversized hands gripped his jaw brutishly. You know what you must do- weed out the weak until only the strong remain.”

And that's when he felt it- the void, the aches and screams of thousands in the distance like his own soul being ripped out of its body. He felt loss and misery like the known galaxy had never felt before. He felt death incarnate where only emptiness could be left in its wake. Worst of all, he saw himself standing in the middle of it all. When all the knights had been struck down at his own hand for their miscalculations, his quest had been fulfilled, and all those he despised paid for what they had done, he saw himself as only an inhuman shell like that of Snoke himself.

\----------------

Kylo was jolted awake by the sound of a nearby garbage truck picking up its load for the day. His first few nights on earth had not been what he expected. Still drained from the trip, he believed it unwise to attempt to perform many of the force powers that would have helped him gain access to food and shelter. He was able to swipe food from unsuspecting diners sitting outside, and he managed to learn more about the city by rummaging through the memories of a few inebriated people he found sleeping in a back alley. While the humans on this planet had no control over the force, they could still resist the intrusion in their minds. The influence of the drugs or alcohol had helped him slip in and out of their thoughts unnoticed and with little strain on his tired body. He found it was not uncommon for people to partake in these mind-altering substances in the city- especially a less potent one derived from a plant that seemed to be legal. With images of the leaf all over the city on buildings and clothing, Kylo wondered if some of the inhabitants worshiped it like he had seen some tribes do in the outer rim.

While there were obvious cultural and technological differences about the planet, Earth, Kylo was no stranger to city living. He knew he needed to collect currency and locate a suitable place for shelter before he could worry about anything else; he had certainly questioned why the force had brought him to this location, but for all he knew it was the only safe haven from Snoke’s grasp.

So, he decided to go about his days alternating between trying to blend in with the public and using his powers to get what he needed to survive. He found the city had no shortage of run-down apartments to choose from. It didn't take him long to find an opening the morning after he arrived. The small elderly woman who owned them gave him the keys to a studio after only a short amount of bartering and mind tricks.

Now, he lay on the floor of his tiny apartment. Groceries he bought with a credit card a nice Microsoft businessman had given him at Kylo's request sat on the single counter in the kitchen. His lightsaber lay on the windowsill. As much as he would like to take it everywhere with him, it was hard enough to conceal it in his jacket for the day he had been on the streets. Books he collected from the library lay sprawled around his makeshift bed that was a pillow and a blanket. He had collected as many books as he could to understand the local culture. He was pleasantly surprised to find that earth had paper books instead of holopads! He got some on technology, etiquette, space, science, and he even picked up one about aliens. He was surprised to see a book on “wizards”- humans that used a stick to make magical things happen. For a second he thought maybe they were force users, but to his disappointment, he realized he had wandered into the “fiction” section. 

He should have spent his time pondering the will of the force, meditating on the next step, or seeking the destiny or purpose it had for him on earth, but all the while he was plagued with thoughts and images of the girl. Her freckles, her big doe eyes, and the way her warm brown hair framed her face. He couldn’t keep her out of his mind. No one had ever looked at him so fiercely before. He was used to people cowering in fear or spitting at him in hatred, but she had a strength about her he had never seen.

\----------------

“I gotta head to class. I’ll see you tonight?” Finn said as he picked up his messenger back from the floor. “Sure.” Rey didn’t lift her eyes from her phone as she ate her breakfast. Finn had been staying with her for a few weeks now after his apartment building got closed down because of its water problems- not that they didn't have water, but they couldn't keep the rain from leaking in. Finn was her best friend, but the small one bedroom apartment became suffocating with the two of them there all the time. However, she had to admit the help with the rent made a big difference. As Finn walked out the front door her eyes landed on his phone still sitting on the table. ‘Shoot’ she thought as she scooped up the phone and ran to the door in an attempt to catch him before he was too far gone. 

“Finn!” She called down the hall. “You forgot your phone!” she reached out the phone to him as he jogged back to get it from her. Faintly she registered the noise of the door across from her apartment being opened and then closed. “Oh gosh, you’re a lifesaver” Finn snatched the phone from her and ran down the hallway. He was going to be late, again. 

Her curiosity peaking, Rey allowed herself a glance at her apparently new neighbor currently locking his door. His back was turned to her, but she could tell he was well built. Something reminded her of the man she had a run in with only two nights ago- the way his dark eyes fixated on her with that intensity still stuck in her head. She couldn’t help but let her eyes roam. The new guy was tall, with wide-set shoulders, ever so slightly wavy shoulder length jet black hair, dark attire, and, oh, a nice butt.

Her neighbor with the nice butt seemed to notice her presence and turned his head to face her. 

Oh. Oh no. It was the guy from the other night. Rey froze as the blood drained from her face. He stood across the small hallway looking at her with focused eyes, mouth ever so slightly agape. “It’s you” he’s said so lightly she could barely register it. 

“I-“ she was lost for words. What is the proper protocol when one finds out that the man that caught you stealing is your new neighbor? 

The stranger carded his hands through his hair. In the light of the hallway, she could see his features more clearly than before. He looked like a prince; he had a strong nose and jaw with the softest looking full lips she had ever seen. Don’t look at his lips she scolded herself. 

“Kylo- My name is Kylo.” He stammered, maybe he was as flustered as she was.

“Rey.” She replied. The silence spread between them. If they were going to be neighbors, perhaps it was better to get on his good side, but she already didn’t like him- he was mean and brutish, and though she felt bad for what happened she was sure he wouldn’t understand what had possessed her to do so. Still, something inside of her urged her to give him a chance. Rey turned towards her door to leave before giving into the nagging thought. 

“It’s just an instinct, ya know?” She said sheepishly. He continued to stare at her blankly. “I didn’t mean to steal from you, is what I mean. I don’t do that kind of thing… anymore” she began to babble, just looking for a response from him. “I’m not a thief. You can’t just go your whole life taking whatever you want, even if people have some to spare.” 

Kylo’s eyebrows knit together as he seemed to ponder what she said. “Right” he paused before adding “That compass is very special. Perhaps it was calling to you.”

Rey couldn’t believe her luck. Her neighbor also happened to be the most patronizing idiot she had come along in years. She was right to distrust him; this was clearly a man that had never had to struggle to survive in his life. How could he understand what she had gone through? The things she had to do to get a meal for the week!

“I was offering you an apology.” She said viciously. “Take it or leave it, buddy.” What kind of name is ‘Kylo’ anyways? 

Kylo was left with his mouth gaping open when Rey turned and slammed her door in his face, retreating into her apartment. He should’ve known better. people on earth rarely believed in destiny or fate; no one here knew of the force much less put their trust in ancient relics. She wouldn’t understand. 

\---------------------

Kylo found that the city had at least one caf shop on about every block. He wasn’t sure if it was the whole planet, but these people seemed to have some kind of obsession with it. He thought he would try it, just to compare it to the caf he had in his solar system. He had ordered a “cafe latte” after asking the barista for her suggestion. Unfortunately, that had started a long-winded conversation with said barista as they made his drink.

The young blond girl had hair landing just below her chin, a knit hat, patterned scarf and colorful tattoos adorning her arms. She had just finished telling Kylo about her musical experiences when his lack of a response prompted her to change topics. 

“So, what about that president of ours, huh?”

Politics. This was an essential part of the culture he should be able to function in at least a little, but when he was looking for earth information in a drunk woman’s mind the only thing about a president he recalled were the words “orange” and “Russian”, and he didn’t know what a Russian was. 

“Uh, yea. They’re a president.” He choked out. Trying not to seem like some freak from another planet.

The girl gave out an amused chuckle. “I know, right?!” She seemed to think he was implying something, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was good or bad. The girl placed his coffee and sandwich on the counter. “Hey, if you’re not busy later-” she continued. “Thanks.” Kylo said dryly before whisking away the food and beverage to sit as far away from the counter as possible.

As he sat at the small table Kylo replayed his conversation with the girl, Rey, once again. He took a bite of his sandwich and sipped his caf purchased with his “borrowed” credit card. The words “You can’t just go your whole life taking whatever you want, even if people have some to spare.” echoed in his mind. Military action and aggressively taking what was rightfully his were one thing, but when did he become a coward and a thief like this? If he was going to survive on this planet, he needed to do more to adjust to the culture. Plus, it would be conspicuous if he never paid his rent.

Kylo Ren needed a job.

He thought making caf- or “coffee” as they called it- wouldn’t be such a bad job. The blond girl seemed to be slow and spend most of her time talking with customers. He could do the job. Determined, he walked up to the counter once again.

“Can I get you something else?” The girl seemed undeterred by his earlier abrupt exit as she smiled brightly.  
“I would like to work here.” He said, squaring his shoulders and straightening his back as if making coffee was the sort of thing someone needed to be intimidating and unmoved to do.

“Can I pay you under the table?” She replied. 

Why would it need to be under a table? “Sure.” He feigned confidence, unsure if this was literal or some strange idiom. 

Turned out making coffee was a lot worse than he thought. He had to be nice to people. He didn’t want to be nice. The work was repetitive, boring, and the people were horrible. One middle-aged couple, in particular, yelled at him for the temperature of their coffee being off by all of 5 degrees (he severely doubted their ability to tell) and he thought he may actually choke them to death. They’re lucky he had so much self-restraint, but the day did end in him screaming threats across the counter and subsequently being asked to go home with only a small pile of cash to show for his day. The girl had not given it to him under a table, so it seemed that was indeed a strange earth idiom. 

However, he appeared to have terrified the barista, so he wouldn’t be going back there again. Perhaps there were more dignified jobs he could take that didn’t involve taking orders from earthlings. Kylo pondered this thought as he walked home, stopping by the library to get some books on careers, engineering, and “cars” (that is what they called those rolling speeders, apparently). 

\---------------------

Rey trudged up the steps of her apartment building. Living on the fifth floor in an ancient building with no elevator seemed fine when she moved in, but after a long day on her feet at work, each step felt unquantifiably painful. She tried not to complain too much, though. Working at the coffee shop was the best job she had so far. It was good, honest work and the tips made up for the minimum wage pay. 

When she rounded the corner she saw her rude neighbor, Kylo, balancing a stack of books in one hand, and rummaging for his key in his pockets with the other. He was wearing leather gloves in spring. Could he get any weirder? Black pants, black T-shirt, what seemed like a black apron draped over his arm. Did this boy wear any colors? She arched an eyebrow as she tried to imagine that dark mess as a barista. She didn’t think he could smile. She rushed to get her own keys out so that she could avoid any small talk when he noticed her. She tried to open the door faster, but that only seemed to encourage him.

“Rey, wait!” She stopped in her tracks. Was this going to be a repeated thing, running into each other like this?

“I meant it- what I said. I wasn’t trying to be contemptuous.” Who uses the word 'contemptuous' when they aren’t trying to be contemptuous? 

“Right. Did you get your vocabulary from an English 101 class at the UW*?” She sneered. She thought it was a fairly clever jibe, to be honest. 

“What?” Kylo stared at her like he was trying to solve the puzzle in what she just said. “The UW. You know, University of Washington? You talk like you’re trying too hard to prove something, is all.” She explained, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff. Rey was smart- really smart. She was definitely smarter than most of the people at UW, and she didn’t work hard to make sure everyone else knew. The only thing was that she couldn’t afford their 30k-50k a year cost of attendance. And that may have stirred up some resentment to the school and its students in her. She wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of those trust fund babies that got to go to any prestigious school he wanted and wasted away partying instead.

“I’m sorry?” It wasn’t an apology. “I’ve never heard of a U-Dub. I’m new here, actually.” His reply was slow and thought out. He responded to her clear insult with surprising gentleness. Still, she could see he was becoming perturbed. 

“Oh.” Rey felt a little bad about her accusation. Come to think of it, no one truly entitled would live in this apartment complex. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wasn’t trying to be an asshole; some people are just naturally assholes. But he was weird. “Right. Well, thanks” She stiffly and awkwardly managed to say with the smallest hint of a polite smile before reaching out to open her apartment door. As she entered her apartment she glanced back and saw Kylo nod at her. His eyes were filled with something like interest, maybe.

Yea, he's weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in Seattle, WA because I'm from Seattle and it is the only city I know well enough to really describe accurate culture shock that Kylo would experience when coming to earth. If there are really specific references to the city, I'll try to explain them in the notes! 
> 
> UW* (pronounced U-Dub) The University of Washington is the most prestigious school in Washington state and has some of the best programs for things like computer science, nursing, and engineering in the world, but they have a reputation for being snobby. It isn’t always true, of course!
> 
> Fun facts about Seattle:  
> It rains, on average, 150 days of the year and is “partially cloudy” 308 days a year.  
> It is the birthplace of Starbucks, Boeing, and Microsoft.  
> Seattle has a lot of artists and musicians, it is a huge part of the culture.  
> Marijuana is legal statewide. 
> 
> Is there something you want Kylo to experience as part of his earth culture shock? Leave it in the comments and maybe it will show up in the next chapter! :)


	3. Stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating on Sundays most weeks. I ended up writing most of chapter four in the process of finishing this, so that might come out earlier!
> 
> If there is any Earth culture shock you would like Kylo to experience, leave it in the comments!  
> \----------------------------

“Hey, did you get a new guy across the hall?” Rose asked before taking another sip of a her hard cider. Finn had insisted they have some guests over, seeing how Rey rarely leaves the house to do anything but work. The small apartment barely gave them all room, so Rose was seated on the floor with Rey and their other friends, Matt and Jess. Most of these people were Finn’s friends, but Rey liked them well enough and had become particularly close with rose over the past few months.

“Yea, I’ve seen him a few times. Doesn’t look too friendly, though.” Finn chimed in. “Rey, didn’t you talk to him once?”

She had been zoning out, thinking about the physics homework she had been helping Finn with recently. “Oh, yea” She said disinterestedly.

“He’s kinda sexy” Jess added, a little bit further along in her drinking than the rest of them.  
“He’s weird” Rey quickly added, a strange instinct to make him less desirable flared up. “Like, really weird. I’m pretty sure he’s not even from this planet.” Everyone laughed at that, but Finn looked at her with suspicion. “Rey, don’t be ridiculous. What is so weird about him?”

“Spill it!” Rose squealed, excitedly. She always loved hearing about Rey’s crazy neighbors. Probably because she didn’t have any of her own.

“Well, first of all, he wears a different work uniform like every day. One day he had a barista apron, then a T-shirt from that fancy waffle place, and today I saw him with a construction vest on.” She explained. She had seen Kylo several times since their conversation. He always made a point to talk to her, but she didn’t let it go past cold small talk. 

“Oh my gosh!” Rose exclaimed. “Maybe he’s some sort of con-man!!”  
“Or maybe he’s a male stripper and those are his costumes” Matt, Finn’s classmate, added. Rey groaned in response. “No, he’s really quiet.” Finn chimed in. “Con-man is much more likely.”  
Rey continued, ignoring them. “He’s always carrying books, too: encyclopedias and textbooks on random topics. Like, can someone really be that boring or does he just not understand normal earth things?! And- and he doesn’t get the most basic cultural references! He says he’s not from around here, but honestly what homeworld does that creep come from!?” At this point, tipsy Rose was nearly lying on the ground laughing. The others chimed in, but Finn looked at her crossly. 

“Rey, don’t you think that’s a little ridiculous. I know you love space and all that stuff, but you don’t seriously think he’s an alien, do you?” 

Finn’s accusation hit a little too close to home. “Of course not! It’s just a joke, Finn!” She said bitterly. “Everyone else thinks it’s funny. Why can’t you just let go?” Rey pulled herself to her feet. She was getting sick of being in a room full of people, anyways. She walked towards the apartment door.

“Rey- I didn’t mean anything!” Finn called out, clearly surprised by her abruptness. “No, it’s fine, Finn. I just want some air.” She said as she opened the apartment door, stepping out into the silence of the hallway.

Rey had known Finn her entire life. They met briefly at an orphanage when she was young. That was before his grandma moved closer to live with him, and before Rey was transferred to living with her foster dad, Plutt. That meant that Finn knew some of the things she went through back then that she never shared with anyone else. How she made up elaborate stories to explain her parents’ absence. And that she used to tell all the other kids her parents were on a spaceship somewhere. All of that was science fiction, of course. As she got older she was able to transfer her obsession with outer space to something much healthier- a hobby. She read all the comic books and watched all the movies and played every game she could get her hands on. But that didn’t mean she actually believed in that stuff still. Finn knew that, but his comment had brought up those memories, and the desperate loneliness along with it. She just needed some air.

———

Kylo Ren sat on the roof of the apartment building in one of the fold-out chairs he found near the edge of the rooftop, facing out on the city. It was a clear night in Seattle, for once. The old apartment building was surrounded by other run down brick buildings, none taller than 6 or 7 stories. In the distance, the skyscrapers littered the city. He stared up at the stars and allowed himself to think about home- Chandrila, actually. 

His time in the First Order had never felt like “home”. It was what he had to do, a place he had to be so that he could become what he was meant to. At least, that’s what Snoke said. Now out of the clutches of Snoke, he was able to think a little more clearly. The nightmares persisted, but a long time ago he had resigned to believing he would never sleep soundly a night in his life. Darkness still called to him, but in a different way. Now it was his own voice, his own thoughts. It was dull in comparison to the grip Snoke had on him. He tries not to think about that, though. He tries not to remember the First Order, or Snoke, or Luke, or the Jedi, or the people he’s killed in an endless quest for someone else’s galaxy-wide domination, and most of all he tries not to remember the people he’s killed for him- the old family friends, civilians, and fallen knights. 

Kylo pushed the lingering thoughts out of his mind. Let the past die. His first week on earth had not gone as horribly as he had expected. He hadn’t exactly found his right career path yet, so to say. Each one ended in their own disasters. Being a barista ended in screaming at a couple, working at the waffle place he threw a mug against a wall when someone went off on him for not having enough whipped cream for the snot-nosed kid’s waffle (like that kid needed more sugar), and as a construction worker one of the men slapped him on the back and made a joke about his mother, prompting Kylo to shout a variety of death threats at the man. That’s the way he had always been, though. He was light and dark- not one or the other all the time. The anger came in flashes, but he thought he controlled it for the most part. Through meditation and research, the things he enjoyed, it was easier. On earth, he had dedicated most of his time to reading about the local culture, history, and technology, and not a lot of time to sleep. 

While this had been satiating enough, he had to decide what to do next. Did he really want to spend the rest of his life on earth? After a week of trying every easily obtainable job, the answer was probably ‘no’. However, something was keeping him there. He could feel the shift in the compass’s energy since he got there. Its pulse was weak and the rose only pointed towards his door most days. He doubted it was still functioning well enough to travel with. So, he would either have to make it on earth or build some mode of transportation to explore the nearby galaxy. He had most of the blueprints for First Order and resistance ships memorized, materials would be another thing, though.

Lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear the click of the roof door opening. 

“Oh” a disembodied female voice said behind him. Rey. He jerked around to see her. She was looking at the spot he was sitting expectantly. He realized he may be in her spot; used to sneaking off to hidden areas for meditation or to escape the chaos his family, he was used to having “a spot” that he considered his. 

“Oh, are these you and your boyfriend’s?” He jumped to his feet to offer her the chairs. “I didn’t mean to- I just found them- I was just leaving.” He stammered, unable to find the words.  
If it was possible to hate a man before ever talking to him or knowing why, Kylo had felt this about the man that lived with Rey. Rey didn’t like Kylo; he could feel her discomfort with him through the force every time they encountered each other, but that didn’t change the spark of jealousy he felt for that man who lived with her. It’s not that he wanted Rey for himself, right? It was just an instinct- as if the man was walking over this invisible line into territory that should be Kylo’s, even if it actually wasn’t. 

“Oh.” Rey said as she hesitantly walked to the chairs. Kylo avoided eye contact, but he couldn’t help but steal glances of her. She looked like she was thinking deeply, almost like she felt bad for pushing him away.

“You, um, don’t have to leave.” she said without looking at him. He had already begun walking towards the exit, but her invitation was tempting. A naturally antisocial man, Kylo was beginning to feel more lonely than usual. He slowly walked back towards the chair. “Are you sure?” He watched her for any sign of distress at his presence. He knew people were afraid of him. It wasn’t just his reputation in the First order- his presence in the force was strong enough that most people could sense his instability. In addition, he knew his very appearance was unsettling to most. She may not have been afraid of him, but she did seem uncomfortable. He suddenly regretted being so forceful with her in their first encounter.

“Yea, I don’t mind. We all need to escape sometimes.” She replied wistfully. Her eyes scanned the night sky, carefully inspecting the stars above them. 

The two of them sat in silence for some time before she spoke up. “He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“What?” Kylo responded. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Finn- we’re not dating. He’s just living with me for a couple weeks. He didn’t have anywhere to stay so I offered my couch. That’s what friends do, I suppose.” She was quiet and reserved. He could tell she didn’t feel very comfortable with him, but he couldn’t stop staring at her. Sitting next to her in the dim starlight made her features look even warmer. For once she wasn’t glaring at him, so that helped. She was beautiful, he thought. She had the most comfortable signature, in a way. Just being near her made him relax. He let her statement hang in the air before changing topics.

“Where are you from?” He asked, every ounce of his body willing her to say “Coruscant”. It was lonely being him, but on earth where no one would ever believe anything about his life, it was more lonely.

She looked over at him with a little smile on her face. “Arizona, clearly” She chided. “Oh, Arizona, of course.” He took her answer seriously, and this seemed to entertain her. She let out a soft breath of amusement before chuckling softly. “England, actually. I was born in England- hence the accent- and grew up in Arizona.” He couldn’t help but smile because she was smiling, but he didn’t quite get the joke. Kylo made a mental note to research these “Arizona” and “England” places.

“And you?” She asked, looking at him with genuine interest. 

“Chandrila.” He didn’t lie. “Chandrila?” Rey’s eyebrows knit together as she thought. 

“That’s good, I thought you might be from outer space.” A large smile spread across her face. Kylo, on the other hand, stared at her in utter shock. He racked his brain for the proper response. He couldn’t tell her the truth, could he; he decided it was best to play it off as a joke. 

“Oh, I am.” He said with his crooked smile. 

Rey threw her head back as she let out a loud laugh. It was a sound of joy he hadn’t heard in years. Genuine laughter, at something he said and meant as a joke, nonetheless. Kylo was so lost to it, he let himself laugh, albeit much quieter than her: a soft and low chuckle. But that seemed to please her. The only time he had heard laughter in the First Order was from the pleasure of inflicting pain or the mocking tone of reveling in another’s failure. 

Rey shifted in her seat, pulling one leg up to fold under her so that her body angled more towards Kylo. “Okay- okay- Kylo from outer space, why come to Seattle?” She asked, the lingering of a smile on her face. His eyebrows raised with surprise. She said his name more gently than he’d ever heard. 

“It’s a new start.” he said, truthfully. “I wanted to remove myself from... a work situation.”  
“What kind of job did you have?” she prodded. Kylo took a long time to answer, shifting his jaw as if to think deeply about a philosophical question. 

“It’s confidential” he said slowly, choosing his wording carefully.  
“Military?” she asked, offering him an out he jumped on a little too quickly. “Yes! Yes. Military of sorts. Pretty… specialized” he said waving his hand vaguely in the air. That sounded like a good cover story, right? Rey seemed to be thinking about it as she stared at the ground nodding her head and biting her lip. He wondered if he had said something wrong.”You?” He said quietly.

“My foster father moved us here a few years ago for a business venture of sorts.” She replied softly. Her eyes wandered as if she was thinking of something far away. Her eyes flicked back to him and that sparkle returned to her again. “I like the rain. So, I decided to stay- I wanted a fresh start, too. I think Seattle is good for that; Arizona is a desert, you know? I thought I might go to university, get a degree, stuff like that...” As she trailed off there was a sadness in her eyes. Something she was hiding from him, disguising it with a polite smile. 

Kylo has no idea what a foster father was, what Arizona was like, or what could be so alluring about rain to this woman, but he found himself with an overwhelming urge to learn more about her. He gazed at her, allowing his eyes to follow the lines around her face, taking note of each feature. This time, she stared back, their unsure eyes locking for only a moment.

“Rey!” A long whine came from a balcony a few floors below them. He could hear music faintly in the background.

“I should go.” she said motioning in the direction of the voices “My friends are waiting for me.” 

“Of course.” He motioned to the door with a dramatic wave of his hand. The motion made her chuckle. Kylo decided making her laugh should be his new hobby. 

When Rey got back to her friends they were huddled in a circle playing some card game. When Plutt had dragged her across the country to Seattle to start his pawn shop, Finn didn’t hesitate to follow. Two years older than her, he had claimed it was a great coincidence that she lived in the same city as his dream school, UW. While it certainly did have a wonderful medical program, she knew he was moving so that she wouldn’t have to be alone. 

Finn looked up to give her a concerned ‘are we cool?’ smile. She gave him her signature toothy smile. 

Maybe Kylo Ren wasn't so bad, she thought.

\--------

After all the socialization, Rey felt burnt out. She always did after a group party like that. She didn’t even get drunk, but people stick around for too long and the night seems to go on forever. They were cutting back her hours at the coffee shop, so she decided to stay in for the day. She couldn’t afford to go out, anyways. Living in the city was expensive, her rent was going up every few months, and her job was paying less and less. 

Rey sat on the floor of her apartment. It was quiet. Finn was gone at work- he worked at his college assisting in labs and classes as needed. She was alone with her thoughts. There were bookshelves filled to the brim, brightly colored posters of her favorite movies and characters hung from the walls, and houseplants littered the room to keep her company. 

It didn’t take long before she drifted off leaning against the couch, sleep taking over her body. In her dreams, she saw the desert again. Sand going on forever, only ending in the places large metal structures lay in pieces from years of decay. The little girl with three buns that called to her parents as they left. A large, bulbous hand gripped her shoulder and called her “girl”- not even a real name. She was left to watch them leave in a flash of light in the sky. 

She was startled awake by her phone ringing. In a groggy haze, she grabbed it and stared at the screen blankly. Plutt. He probably needed help with his bookkeeping at the shop. She decided to let it go to voicemail. She needed the money, so she would probably end up helping him, but avoiding actually speaking to him was much easier. 

Instead, she sat on her couch and thought about the dream. It wasn’t the first time she had dreamt that. Still, it seemed more vivid this time. 

\-------

“I’m worried about you, Rey. You’ve been having those dreams a lot lately.”  
“I’m fine, really”  
“Are they like… ya know-”  
“-the ones I used to have? No, not exactly.“  
“Maybe everything is just getting to you. You’ve been working weird hours lately. You should take a break.”  
“I can’t. You know that. Plus, I told Plutt I would help him this one last time.”  
“You know what he does isn’t right-“

The jiggling of a door handle interrupted Finn, causing them both to look up from their conversation. In front of them was Kylo, dressed in oil-stained overalls looking less than pleased. He had a swipe of black on his cheek, probably from rubbing his face after touching a car. His hair was a mess; the usually pristine raven locks haphazardly flowed in his face. He didn’t smile a lot, and at that he only smirked, but this may have been the most upset Rey had ever seen him. She thought she could actually feel his emotions, like they were able to change the pressure of the air around her.

He looked up from meddling with his doorknob to direct a villainous glare at Finn, a permanent grimace on his face. As his eyes shifted to Rey they took on a much warmer quality. He nodded his head at her before looking at the apparently sticky lock before sighing.

Finn was eager to get into the apartment. Kylo wasn’t the type of person Finn would normally spend his time around, and shady characters always drifted through this apartment complex. When he stepped inside, door still open, Rey spoke up.

“So, you were a mechanic today, hm?” she chided, amused with Kylo’s appearance.  
“I was. It didn’t go as well as I had planned. I’ve never seen cars like these before... I severely doubted their complexity upon seeing them driving on the ground…” Kylo responded with defeat nearly palpable in his voice. His voice was smooth and deep, just a hint of roughness tinted it. Rey hadn’t noticed that before. 

He yanked at the door one more time before it finally opened. Kylo looked at her after opening the door. He opened his mouth and lifted his hand as if to add another point to the conversation before stopping himself. With furrowed brows, he turned and retreated into his apartment. Rey, herself, didn’t know what to say, left in a confused daze. What just happened?

Finn had been standing inside the apartment eavesdropping. His face said it all: raised eyebrows, big eyes, and pursed lips. As soon as Rey shut the door he broke his silence. 

“Okay, no. That was real freaking weird!” Finn agreed to her earlier sentiments wholeheartedly.  
“RIGHT?” Rey exclaimed.  
“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??” He continued, their voices going up in pitch and volume with each sentence.  
“I DON’T EVEN KNOW!!” Rey threw her hands up with disbelief. 

“No! Wait.” Finn stopped himself, mid excitement. He pointed a scolding finger towards Rey “You’re not getting out of this conversation!”  
“I’ll be fine” she said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes to show her distaste for Finn’s persistence. 

“I just don’t want you to get into trouble because of him.” Finn responded more gently this time. Rather than fight him, Rey smiled knowingly. Finn was a good friend, but she wasn’t scared of the thugs that hung around Plutt’s. 

———

In all honesty, being a mechanic hadn’t gone that horribly for Kylo. What did it for him was, yet again, the people. That, and he had actually never read that book about cars he got. It was enough he had used his powers to get jobs, relying on old Jedi mind tricks. 

It was just like the Jedi to rely on deception to get their way. He hated using that skill in particular. It brought back so many memories of the past. Now, with freedom from Snoke he had felt so alive. He barely slept and was able to do many of the things he missed from before. But after the newness of it was wearing off, Kylo was faced with something else- an emptiness even greater than the one he had before. He had a mission his entire life. Something he knew he was supposed to do. When he was young he was supposed to grow up and be a great Jedi like his uncle- whether he liked it or not. Under Snoke, he became “the Great Jedi Killer”. He never got to choose his path until now, and with it open to all the possibilities earth could provide, he found it more overwhelming than anything he had experienced before. Failure after failure was building on him. What kind of future could he have here? Would his powers go to waste as he molded to this meaningless pattern of society, serving the ungrateful masses? No, Kylo Ren was meant for so much more. The pressure built on him until he couldn’t take it anymore. With a yell his fist met the brick wall of his apartment. The force surged through him, alive in his anger, focused into his strike. As a result, the hard wall crumbled where he hit it, lines spreading out in cracks from the impact. 

Kylo breathed deeply, chest heaving, as he stared at the impact. It was no good. It wasn’t enough. He nearly tore his mechanic overalls off in a rush to change into more appropriate civilian clothing. Dawning his clothes from the First Order, Kylo strode out of his apartment with purpose: stress relief. 

In this part of town, it didn’t take much to find a dive bar full of miscreants. His purpose was to get a drink. If a fight broke out, he would be happy to participate. It had been years since Kylo had allowed himself more than a sip of alcohol. He used it to dull the voices when he was attending Luke’s academy, but it only made Snoke’s presence stronger in the long run. Back then, it was a coping mechanism. In the secrecy of the night, he could steal himself away and indulge in the numbing drink. Now, it was an act of rebellion. He was his own person; no one could tell him he was too weak now. 

“What can I get you?” the gruff looking bartender asked as Kylo slipped onto a barstool. The place was dimly lit in yellow hues. Wood panels covered the walls in a strange attempt to seem folksy.  
“Whatever is strong.” Kylo said, not attempting to hide his toxic grimace. 

The bartender gave him a small glass of an orangey brown liquid. Kylo drank it in one sip. The alcohol burned in its way down, leaving him with the lingering feeling of it in his nose. It wasn’t nearly as strong as some of the Kashyyyk drinks he had tried when Chewie and his father had visited him on Yavin 4. Still, it would work.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, or how many drinks he had gone through before someone attempted to talk to him. A young red headed girl with sharp features and revealing clothing propped elbows on the bar next to him to order a round of drinks for her table. While she busied herself making suggestive comments to the bartender, Kylo kept his eyes to himself, stooped over in his seat. The girl seemed to take notice of him nonetheless. 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you around here.” she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.  
“New here.” He said, irritation apparent in his voice. He didn’t want to be disturbed, especially not by some girl. In his state, he may be willing to admit there was only one girl he really wanted to be around.  
“Buy me a drink.” She said, perkily.  
He was about to tell her he doesn’t pay for sex when a square looking balding man slammed his fist on the bar next to Kylo. 

“Hey! You tryin’ a steal my girl?” The man was nearing middle age, dressed in a button up shirt not nearly buttoned enough, exposing the curls of his chest hair. Kylo shot him a fierce glare.  
“I’d rather die than steal the likes of her.” He said under his breath. 

This was not the right answer for the angry man; it only served to encourage the drunk to yell more. “What's that, punk!?” He gripped Kylo’s shirt with his small, pump hands and attempted to pull him off the barstool. Kylo stood, only to emphasize his own height difference over the man, who probably stood at 5’9”. This did nothing to deter the man as he spewed expletives, some of which Kylo had never heard, before swinging a meaty arm towards Kylo’s face. It wasn’t difficult to see it coming, even without the force. The alcohol had dulled his sense, but Kylo was still able to tap into the force and feel the energy fluxing around him. With a quick dodge to the side, he got a quick jab to the man’s ribs. The drunk howled and gripped his ribs as he began to swear more.

The abruptness of the action prompted a crew of two other beefy short square men in stained tank tops to join the altercation. With perfectly timed dodges and quick jabs, Kylo was able to avoid the men’s assaults. He grabbed one by the wrist after they attempted to grab him, and bent his arm at a degree that caused a loud snap. The next man was easily immobilized when he charged at Kylo by using his own momentum to force his face into the hard surface of the bar. Lastly, the square man with a cracked rib ran before Kylo could take care of him. In the fight he could feel the force surging through him, energizing him and allowing his body and mind to exercise muscles that had lay dormant for too long. A wicked smile splashed across his face; he was actually disappointed it had ended so quickly. 

Turning back to the bar to pay for the check he found the woman was still standing in her original spot, visually shaken.

“I- you- can I buy you a drink?” flustered, she didn’t give up. It seemed earth women were no more classy than those he had met in his own galaxy.  
“Not interested.” he dropped cash on the bar where the stunned bartender stood.

As he walked toward the front door a dark-haired man stepped away from his own table to approach Kylo.  
“I have something you may be interested in.” a low and smooth voice said. His eyes were dim, nearly black, and his face was covered in stubble. He was a well-dressed man, likely in possession of wealth. 

“Excuse me!?” Kylo wasn’t sure what the man was referring to, and he didn’t know if he wanted to.

The strange man held out a business card- solid white except for a phone number in the center. “You’re a good fighter. You want to make some cash from it, let me know.”

Kylo took the card hesitantly before pocketing it and leaving without a word.

So tired, yet so awake, Kylo slipped into his bed that night. It felt good to exercise his powers. He had trained as much as he could on this planet, jogging every day before sunrise even. But he couldn’t duel with anyone here, and he was only able to practice his lightsaber forms without real action inside his small apartment. Fighting felt right, in a way. It was something to do, anyway. 

As sleep began to come upon him, his mind started to wander. ‘Rey’. Seeing her today did make things a little better. Was something connecting them, he wondered.


	4. Rainy Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for fluff! Space boy and earth Rey seem to be falling for each other.. hmmm. This chapter really focuses on Rey. Chapter 5 will explore Ben’s new job more. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this update might be a bit shorter than the last one, but I have just been trying to stick to weekly updates, and work has been getting a bit busy lately. 
> 
> I am so happy to see some nice comments and people enjoying this! Thanks for all the support :)

A large hallway that seemed to go on forever lay in front of her. Bluish streams of moonlight shone through large windows, landing on blank walls with solid metal doors. Medical almost, the building was pristine in nature, bleak and uninviting. There was no heart to it, either. Like the particles of dust floating through the air, the memories that haunted it felt empty and lost. Lonely. The air was cold and crisp, just enough to send chills down her spine. Rey felt herself step forward, almost as if her body was walking by its own volition. She treaded lightly, only allowing the pads of her feet to touch the cold marble below her. Somewhere in the distance a quiet voice called to her, not with words, but in feeling and muffled sounds. Everything, including her own foot steps, seemed to echo dully as if she were underwater.

‘He needs help’ she thought. Wandering deeper into the corridor she followed the feeling until she came to a door. The sound was clear now, crying in the distance. She ran her hand over the metal door when, to her surprise, it suddenly slid open, retreating into the wall. A gasp escaped her lips as she was startled by its movement. The faint sound of a clock ticking echoed in what appeared to be a bedroom. She stepped hesitantly inside to find the source of the crying. A small boy, maybe 10 or 11 years old, sat on the floor huddled in on himself. His face was in his hands as tears streamed down at a rate that Rey could see them pooling and running down his arms. The boy was small and lanky, colorless with short black hair. 

“Are you okay?” She called to him, as she rushed closer. She kneeled on the ground to comfort him- how, she knew not. The little boy looked up at her, slowing his sniffling for a moment. He had large and warm brown eyes and thick lashes. Light spots of freckles covered his face and sizable ears stuck out from his wavy hair. He sniffled before wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“They’re all gone. I’m alone again.” The boy said quietly, sniffling between words.  
“Who’s gone?” Rey asked, reaching out to touch his shoulder. The boy flinched at her touch, but didn’t try to move away.  
“My family. They think I’m a monster.” He choked out the words.  
“You’re not a monster.” She said, the ache in her heart growing more with each passing moment. She wanted to pull him into her arms to comfort him.

The boy looked above her with shock on his face. The pressure in the room changed, becoming stronger and colder. Something unnerving took over. A low, verbirating and mechanical sound generated from behind her. The volume of it breaking the silence pierced her ears. She knew this sound, but only in her dreams. As a ghoulish red glow overtook the room, driving out the blue tones of the moon, Rey rose to her feet and turned on her heel to confront the noise- to protect the boy.

The low rumble emitted from the red sword of a masked figure draped in black. He was like the Grim Reaper, she thought- nearly shapeless in the darkness, save for the red illuminating his outline and the chrome tracing the eyes of his mask. An inexplicable feeling of dread and fear built up from within her. Rife with terror, she turned back to the boy so that they could escape this thing. But when she looked, he was not there anymore. 

“What have you done with him?!” She demanded, voice shaking in trepidation, she stepped back to distance herself from the figure. Slowly, he walked towards her. Each step bringing her closer to death. His sword stayed at his side, pointing downward.

“He’s dead. He was weak and foolish, like his father.” a modulated voice rang out like sandpaper on her ears. 

As she stepped back farther she felt her body hit the wall. She was out of room. She pushed herself back harder as if she could make herself disappear from the figure’s sight. Dread filled her in such copious amounts she thought her body wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore. The figure closed the gap between them with one step. Close to her, she could feel his bodyheat and the warmth rolling off his sword. 

“You can’t save him now.”

His free hand, gloved, came up to grip her face. Large fingers touched her lightly, spanning her whole face with his thumb on one cheek and four fingers on the other. She could smell the clean leather, soft on her skin. She trembled in her distress. Trying to pull away from him, she clenched her eyes shut as if that could make the whole nightmare end. 

“Please, don’t” she croaked. She flinched at his closeness, preparing for it.. 

A stray tear ran down her cheek. She couldn’t hear the sound his sword was making anymore. The only thing that filled the room was his breathing and the muffled ambience of the outside world, but even that felt deafening. The man, if he could be called that, swiped his thumb slowly across her lower lip before moving it to wipe away her tear. He left his hand cradling her cheek, rubbing gently with his thumb.

“Rey” human words fell out before her, deep and velvety.

Surprised by the gentleness of the action, and the absense of the modulation, she opened her eyes. Curly locks of raven hair framed a man’s pale face speckled with freckles. His sad and empty eyes searched her face for something- maybe recognition. Where the sword had been, he held only the handle. The room had returned to its blue hue, and moonlight spilled through windows onto his face. Rey could feel her body begin to relax under his touch, their fearful eyes locking. He was familiar. Apprehensively, she raised a shaking hand, inching it closer to his face slowly to mirror his position. Her arm felt like it was made of lead, it moved so slowly she could have sworn minutes had passed before she neared him. Heart pounding in her chest, her fingers hovered over his skin.

———

Rey woke up to the sound of herself gasping for air. She was out of breath like she had been holding it in her sleep. Drenched in sweat and shaky, she sat up in her bed. She was in her apartment. She was in Seattle. It was just a dream, she told herself. Still, her cheek burned from the spot he had touched her. 

Too startled to fall back to sleep, Rey decided she would get up early. She quietly slipped on a loose fitting button up and jeans for the day. Finn was fast asleep on the couch, as usual. His night classes kept him sleeping late into the day before he had to work. Rey snuck through the kitchen, gathering food to go for her breakfast before leaving the apartment as quietly as possible. Once in the hallway she let out a large sigh. She leaned back against the apartment door when her eyes froze on the door in front of her. A chill ran down her spine as realization came over her. The man in her dream- he couldn’t have been her neighbor. Yet, his face was remarkably familiar. She shook off the thought- that was not the kind of dream she wanted Kylo to be in.

It was a rare warm spring day. With the sun shining and birds chirping, Rey hardly thought about anything as her weary feet dragged her to Plutt’s Pawn. The small shop was a hole in the wall on a street littered with rundown businesses. The store stuck out like a sore thumb; chipped neon yellow paint plastered the outside with metal bars that made it look like a prison.

Unkar Plutt was a repulsive man. His body was as round as a human’s could be. He had the widest, bulbous nose that took up most of his face- horribly misshapen in a way that could only result from repetitive breaking without proper setting. It contrasted greatly with his tiny bird eyes. The man never smiled. He laughed whenever he thought he got a good deal from “some sucker”, but even then the corners of his mouth did not turn up. He spent the better amount of his time scheming for ways to take people’s money with his disgusting little round fingers. When Rey was young, she thought it looked like he had baby potatoes stuck to his hands. He didn’t appreciate that sentiment much. 

She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. She promised to help Plutt today, but the dread still filled her. Finn was right, she wasn’t comfortable there. Be it angry customers yelling, shady thugs creeping, the lingering stares some of the men gave her, Plutt’s anger, or the phantom pains from past injuries. She had to do this. 

“I haven’t heard from the foster program lately. Maybe I’ll check back with them for you since you’re helping me today.” She could swear she heard a chuckle of sarcasm in Plutt’s voice when he said it.

She came here to help with bookkeeping, but of course, she got roped into helping fix up some of the broken items around the shop. An old record player, a tv, a sewing machine, and even a ring that had a loose stone. Plutt had all the tools she needed in the back, even if he didn’t know how to use them. 

She was finishing the bookkeeping when a group of three men came into the store. They looked like the typical group of suspicious guys. The men walked with too much sway in their steps, gold watches adorned their wrists, and their sloppy looking clothes were designer brands. Rey knew what this meant- they were likely some of Plutt’s “elite clients”. 

“Hey! Plutt!” the larger of the three men beckoned him from his office he had been working in. Meanwhile, the other two loitered near the counter Rey was working at. She did her best to keep her eyes on the paperwork. It was best if she pretended they weren’t there. 

“Gentlemen!” Plutt walked out of his office, faking his best welcoming voice. “How can I-”

“This your daughter?” One thug cut him off. He motioned his head towards Rey.

“Just a foster kid. You know how good that is.” Plutt’s voice automatically took a less friendly tone. He hated it when Rey got attention in the shop. It wasn’t that he wanted to protect her, he just liked being in the spotlight. She could almost hear his disdain for her.

The largest of the three, the leader presumably, cut his attention back to Plutt. “Plutty, old friend, we have a problem.” The man was very tanned, with a trimmed beard and brown hair pulled into a short ponytail. Rey noticed a large scar running across the side of his face, beginning above his eyebrow, curving around his eye, and ending near his jaw. It looked like the kind of scar someone would not have from a normal accident. 

Sensing trouble coming, Rey sunk back in her seat. She scanned the room for exits. It wouldn’t be easy to simply walk out of the shop, and leaving now put her at a risk of being followed. Instead, she got up and tried to casually walk into the office nearby. Out of sight, she could find something to defend herself, if needed. This wouldn’t be the first time Plutt got into trouble.

“You screwed us, Blobfish.” She could hear the man accuse Plutt.  
“I can assure you, I would never-” Plutt was cut off by the loud slam of the man’s hand on the counter. “You shorted us by 20 guns, Unkar. How do you think that makes me look, huh? I tell the boss we got a great deal. I pay full price for these. I trusted you and you screwed me.” he was yelling now. Rey took a chance to glimpse out the door to see the smaller two thugs grabbing items from around the store and pocketing them. Plutt may have been the junkboss of Washington, but even he had people who controlled him.

“I- Boys- I’m sure there’s an explanation for all this.” fear laced Plutt’s words, but only ever so slightly. The foolish man would cheat anyone he could until he died for it. “My shipment was running late, is all. You know, we put so much work in getting those for you. It’ll be no time now, I am sure.” Plutt assured them. 

“Really? Word on the street is you had no problem delivering to Crimson Dawn.” there was a darkness in the man’s voice that sent shivers down Rey’s spine. If what he was saying was true, and Plutt was dealing with multiple gangs, he was definitely a dead man.

“I can assure you, that isn’t true!” Plutt fumbled his words out of his mouth, finally realizing the danger he was in. 

“Good. Then we’ll have the shipment by next week.” 

“By next week.” Plutt agreed.  
“You better watch it, Plutty. If you don’t start delivering, your valuables might start going missing too.” a smaller thug ominously threatened him as the three boys walked out of the store.

When the men left, Rey continued her work. She pretended she didn’t hear anything, and Plutt didn’t say anything. She knew it would only anger him more. She finished her work in the back workroom while Plutt huffed and groaned, making phone calls to his “associates”. She had planned on leaving earlier, but she couldn’t shake the eerie feeling that the confrontation left behind. Better to stay later. There’s less a chance they could be loitering around to follow her home. 

By the time she left Plutt’s Pawn the sky was growing dim and rain began to sprinkle from the sky. Since moving to Washington, Rey had become obsessed with the rain. Whenever she felt stressed or overwhelmed, she liked to take a walk in the rain. Today was no exception. Opting to take the long way home, she breathed easy, feeling the drops trickle down her face. Over the course of her twenty minute walk, the rain picked up and began to pour. Water dripped from the ends of her hair by the time she got into the apartment building. 

While the experience of being in it was relaxing, once she was inside, she was cold and ready to take a hot shower. Rey reached into her pocket for her keys when the realization hit her. Inside her apartment, in the kitchen, her keys sat on the table. A chill ran through her bones as she pulled at the door handle- locked, and Finn was at work. There were only two options: she could wait in the hallway, dripping wet and cold, until he got home in some hours or she could seek help from the one person she didn’t want to see today. Another frigid breeze gust through the hallway, let in from the poor insulation, surely. Rey turned on her heels to look at the door for the second time today.

Apt 503. There were a million reasons why asking Kylo if she could stay in his apartment for the evening sounded horrible; Rey knew well enough that she didn’t like asking for help, but if anything she was the one that owed Kylo. He probably didn’t trust her. What would he think about her? That she was some petty thief or a poor orphan? Moreso, even the thought of walking into the apartment of a man she barely knew built up anxiety within her. There were so many things that could go wrong. And if he turned her away, she would feel pathetic sitting in this hallway. Then, there was that dream…

Rey sucked in a large breath, letting it out slowly, allowing the stress to melt away. ‘You can do this’. She raised a trembling hand to the door.

——————

Kylo stood in his kitchen glaring at the stove top in front of him. Dull coils refused to heat the water to boiling as he willed them to. Nothing was burning yet, at least. He considered himself a skilled cook in the right kitchen. Over a fire in the woods of a foreign planet or in the comfort of a modern home, Kylo had always been able to make his food. One learns fast when the other options are Luke’s cooking or more rations. But in this strange limbo of modern and primitive, he found the technology to be infuriating. 

A knock on his front door and a familiar presence alerted him Rey was outside. He knew something was growing between them on a deeper level. He felt the force connecting them, amplifying his sensitivity to her signature. He could feel her walk past her door some days, but she had never knocked. He took the 3 steps it took to make it to the front door before opening it. 

Rey stood outside his door, her hair drenched and dripping with water and clothes sticking to her body. She seemed like she was trying not to shiver.

“I really hate to bother you, but I seem to have locked myself out.” she said with her eyes glued to her shoes, avoiding Kylo’s gaze.  
“You locked yourself out?” He reiterated, guessing what she was requesting. He could open the door for her, but perhaps using the force to unlock a deadbolt isn’t something a friendly, normal neighbor does.  
“Yes. I must have left my keys at home this morning, and- well Finn will be gone for a few more hours.”  
“Oh.” Kylo said, still confused.  
She huffed with impatience. “So, I don’t know anyone else around here. Could I just wait in your apartment until he gets back? It’s cold out here.” she gripped her arms, as if to emphasize her discomfort.  
“Oh! Oh- of course” he felt like an idiot. “Please, come in.” he opened the door for her, and she slowly walked inside.  
“The fresher is right over there, I’ll grab you some towels.” he rushed to get them for her while she looked around the room slowly. She seemed to be taking in all the items, or lack thereof, he had in his room. Rows upon rows of books skirted the edges of the room. He had managed to obtain a larger wardrobe- primarily black and grey clothing. Other than the items he used, there were no real personal items that made the apartment look desirable. It was bleak and sterile.

She gave him a small smile when he handed her a large towel to dry off with. “Thanks” she muttered. She looked like she didn’t know where to stand. 

“I was just making… noodles with tomato sauce.” He said, in an attempt to end the awkward silence.  
“Spaghetti?” She questioned him with an arched brow.  
“Yea, that.” He corrected himself. Rey began to giggle; it started small and grew into a small fit of laughter, the tension in her melting away. Kylo stood and watched her, his own smile splayed across his face. “What’s so funny?” he asked when she had quieted down.  
Her cheeks were still rosey. "I swear, you have the strangest way of speaking. And I’m not even from this country!” she said, humor still lacing her words.  
He chuckled softly at her entertainment. “I told you, I’m not from here.” Kylo tried to defend himself. “Right, and what do they speak in Chandrila?” she asked. She remembered his home planet.  
“Basic, of course.” He answered, assuming that was an obvious question.  
“Right, well I speak English.” she countered. Right, English- not basic.  
“Oh, well, Basic is like a creole*, I guess; there’s a lot of words from other languages, too.” he explained, hoping it sounded more reasonable than ‘that’s just what space people use’.  
“Hm, okay.” Rey seemed to ponder this for awhile, while pacing slowly around his apartment to get a closer look at his books. 

Kylo tended to the spaghetti, finally adding noodles when the water boiled. 

“That reminds me, actually.” Rey added after a long pause, walking closer to him. “Hm?” he questioned. “Is Kylo your real name?” she looked at him as she leaned against the kitchen counter. The thought of his old name brought up so many emotions Kylo wasn’t sure he was ready to address, but he wanted to tell her all the same. 

“Why do you ask?” he said, pretending to be impartial.  
“I’ve just never met anyone with that name. It just sounds very… made up.” she admitted, gently.  
“It is- made up, that is.” he didn’t look at her as he said it, instead busying himself with stirring the noodles. “Oh” he heard her say. After a long pause he finally decided to continue. “It was for that job. I changed names- changed lives, really… My given name is Ben.” 

Rey was quiet for a second. He risked a glance at her. Her hair was drying now, forming waves in her hair he hadn’t seen before. She looked so gentle in that moment.

“Ben.” She said quietly, as if it was just to herself. He had never heard it be said that way. So gentle, he thought. The way she said it made him feel human, for once.

If ‘Kylo’ sounded like the name only a space boy has, maybe he should be more normal, he justified to himself. “You can call me ‘Ben’... if you like.” he added. 

“I think I would.” Her smile was warm and inviting. He liked it when she smiled. 

Ben could feel the blush setting in as warmth rushed into his ears. He had spent so much time trying to figure out why he felt this way around her; why her emotions affected him so deeply; why he could feel her signature so distinctly through the force; why she even showed up in her dreams. But the wondering just seemed to make it worse. Now, he knew he was a goner. He was consumed with thoughts of her, hanging on her every word, and constantly in awe that such a woman could hold such beauty.. 

A comfortable silence had set between them as she leaned against the counter, fidgeting with something in her hand. Her clothes were still wet; she still looked cold.

“Would you like to borrow a shirt?” he offered, hoping that didn’t come off as too personal, or worse, creepy.  
“Oh, um, if you don’t mind.” Rey looked embarrassed. She seemed like she didn’t like asking for help. Ben opened his closet to pull out a soft, navy sweater he hadn’t worn yet. When she was changing in the fresher, he took his time to use the force to aid his cooking skills. He didn’t own something to drain the noodles, so it was more simple to pull the noodles out with the force. Easy enough. 

\---

Rey slipped into the bathroom to change into Ben’s sweater. ‘Ben’... the name fit him much better than ‘Kylo’. It sounded much softer. Of course, he had seemed much softer to her recently. She held out the sweater at arm’s length to ponder over it. It seemed like putting it on would be some sort of acceptance. Maybe Ben cared for her, or maybe Ben was just a kind person. 

She pulled off her sopping shirt before slipping on the comfortable sweater. It was so much warmer than her button up. She checked herself in the mirror. Makeup still mostly intact, her hair was a mess. She brushed loose strands from her face and ran her fingers through it, letting out a long sigh. It had been such a long day.

She had to admit, as much as she had dreaded seeing Ben after that dream, he was really beginning to grow on her. She felt comfortable enough with him here now. And normally she didn’t feel comfortable being alone with any men.

Outside of the small bathroom, she could feel something. It was like a spark through the air, like a string being pulled, something beyond the door she could feel in her very soul. It was warm- something familiar and also like something she never felt before. As soon as it came, it was gone. It had only lasted a few seconds, but she was left with lingering warmth. 

Curious, Rey left the bathroom. On her way back to the kitchen she stalled in the living area. Ben slept on the floor and had no furniture. It was curious, she thought. It was an odd apartment. The brick walls and dull carpet didn’t add much character. He had no distinct belongings other than a few maps he had taped to the walls. He did have a plethora of books, though. She had seen him carrying stacks of them before, but now there must have been 30 or so books stacked on the floor. One small paperback with a picture of some stereotypical green alien on the cover lay on his bedding. She stooped down to pick it up. 

\---

“You like reading a lot, huh?” she mused  
Ben stirred the spaghetti sauce in, adding olives and mushrooms to it. “Oh, yea.” he said, turning to look at her. Rey wasn’t terribly short for a human female, but Ben’s large sweater engulfed her. Fitting more like a dress, the soft sleeves slipped over her hands. She looked adorable wearing his shirt. Again, Ben could feel his face flush red. 

“Me too” she smiled up at him. 

Ben pilled spaghetti into two bowls before walking into the living area to join Rey. He handed her a bowl before sitting on the ground. He leaned back against a wall, stretching out his long legs across the floor.  
“What do you like to read?” he asked.  
“Mm, my favorite books are science fiction. I like fantasy too, and I like to learn a lot; I always read Finn’s textbooks, and I research a lot on my own.” She moved so that she could lean against the wall next to him. “You have a lot of informational books, huh?” she asked before beginning to eat her spaghetti.

“Yea, I like to learn, too. I used to read a lot of fiction when I was young, and historical fiction” he added. “I always loved reading about legends and lore.” he remembered locking himself in his room to read for hours, or even days. He took notes on the methods and lives of past Jedi and Sith alike. He admired them both more the older he got. He tried to educate himself in the dark and light as he, but maybe that is what lead to Luke’s betrayal. But it was in those books he was able to find someone that could understand him, sympathy.

“Reading always made me feel less alone. Like there were people out there that could understand what I was going through.” he added, quietly as if he was admitting some deep secret.  
Rey nodded, thinking about what he said. “To me, books were a way to escape.” Rey said. 

Ben agreed, nodding his head. She was an orphan; he knew that now since their last conversation. She seemed to feel some of that deep rooted loneliness he had his whole life. That made him comfortable around her.

“Would you like to borrow some of my books?” She asked, looking at him with that bright smile of hers. “Yes, absolutely” he said with a smirk.  
“Have you read Harry Potter before?”  
“No” he shook his head in response. Her immediate expression was a mixture of alarm and disbelief. What could have been so shocking about not reading one book? There must have been a billion books from every planet, how could every human read one of them?  
“You must really be from outer space.” she said, mirth lacing her tone. They both laughed this time. Ben was getting used to laughing again- and smiling. It was a good feeling after five years in the First Order. Being here now felt kind of like home. 

They spent most of the night talking. Rey told him about her favorite books and comic books- mostly science fiction. He asked her extensive questions about what earth people thought about aliens and other planets, disguising it as science fiction curiosity, of course. 

He found out she loved space, she wanted to work for NASA one day, she was extremely smart, she loved to laugh and she laughed easily, her favorite food was chocolate, she liked the rain because there was a drought in Arizona, and she was 19 years old. She wasn’t going to school because of financial reasons, and worked two or three jobs most of the time. Sometimes she did bookkeeping for her foster father, but she hated it.

“Why do you do it then?” he asked, unease lacing his voice.  
“I have to... -I mean, I need the money. It’s hard living in Seattle on a minimum wage job.” She replied. Though, Ben could feel there was something deeper to the answer, and that troubled him deeply.  
“Yea…” He left the topic to ponder when she quickly turned his own nosiness against him.  
“And you? Do you have family around her?” 

He hadn’t talked about his family since he joined the First Order. The only thing that was ever brought up was his grandfather- the great Darth Vader. Ben looked at the floor pensively. “No, they’re- I don’t know. They probably aren’t on Chandrila anymore, with their occupations and such.” It was painful to admit, but the truth nonetheless. Even before he joined the First Order, his family had not visited him in years. 

“What do they do?” Rey asked “...if you don’t mind me asking” she added, sensing the tenderness of the topic.  
Ben carded his hand through his hair. “My mother was a politician and now a general. My father is a criminal- a smuggler.” Ben responded blatantly. He could feel the embitterment growing in him just from the thought of it- of the rejection they left him with. He looked up from the spot on the floor he had been scowling up. Rey smiled at him; it wasn’t the kind of smile one gave from happiness or joy. In fact, there was a deep sadness in her eyes. It was a knowing smile, like she recognized his pain from her own life. Ben smiled back at her softly, only lifting one side of his mouth into an empathetic smirk. He let the air settle between them before moving on.

“Do you want to hear about my favorite book?” he asked.

——

When it was time for Finn to get out of class Rey texted him to tell her when he arrived at the apartment building. She didn’t want to bother him with her being locked out. She could meet him in the hall anyway. When he did get home and it was time to leave Rey turned to Ben. 

“Thank you so much, Ben.” a bright smile illuminated her face.  
“Anytime” he smiled back at her. He had the warmest smile, she was beginning to think. It seemed to be growing bigger every time they spoke. The thought sent a jolt of heat through her as she could feel her cheeks warming.  
“Oh!” she remembered “I should give you your sweater.”  
“I’m sure your shirt is still wet; you can just return it later.” he responded, his eyes traveling up and down the sweater on her. It sounded like a great excuse to see him again, so she agreed “Alright. I guess it's my turn to cook next time, then.” she said shyly as she walked to the door.

Before opening it to leave Rey turned back to look at him. 

“It was really nice talking to you, Ben.”  
“Yea, it was” he replied warmly.

She met Finn in the hallway as he approached the apartment. She met his shocked expression with an explanation about being locked out and Ben letting her stay in his apartment, but didn’t give many details. 

“So…” Finn said as they walked into her apartment- she could almost hear him thinking.  
“Yes?”  
“Have you eaten?” he seemed to change the topic.  
“Yea, Ben made spaghetti.”  
“Ben…” suspicion was thick in Finn’s voice. He was clearly thinking something. Rey just had to guess if it would result in teasing or worrying. Finn was her best friend, but sometimes he functioned more like a mom. He wasn’t terribly adventurous most of the time, complaining when Rey dragged him into anything risky. And he was always cautious, encouraging Rey to be more careful.  
“Mhmm”  
“Okay!” finally, he broke “You stayed in our mystery neighbor’s apartment and you didn’t even think to text me where you were?! He could be dangerous! You don’t know anything about him!” Finn said, throwing his hands into the air. “He’s not dangerous! He’s sweet. He gave me food and let me borrow his sweater.” Rey pointed to the sweater to emphasize it. “It’s nice, too!” as if the value of the sweater made it more significant.

Finn paused for a second before responding, taking his time to think over the situation. “Sounds like he likes you.” and that answered Rey’s question: Finn would both worry and tease her for this. Great.  
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Finn! He’s just nice.” Rey wasn’t sure if she preferred if Finn was right or wrong about his assessment. The more she knew Ben, the more she liked about him. She was starting to notice little details about him, like his smile, the deep tone of his voice, the delightful chuckle he gave at her dumb jokes. She liked the way he looked at her, too, with such intensity. He seemed to study her expressions and care deeply even about her meaningless ramblings. He seemed to really understand her. Still, she wasn’t about to let herself fall for some stranger.

“Okay, you should invite him to one of our parties, then.” he challenged.  
“Your parties.” She corrected “Fine, maybe I will” Rey said in her stubbornness. Hopefully, this wouldn’t be a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A Creole is a language that is developed by combining several different languages. It isn't really addressed what "basic" is, but I like to think they use a lot of words from other languages in the Star Wars Universe.


	5. Cash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben starts his new job and Rey gets to know more about him! The next chapter will be a fun one :) 
> 
> This update is a lot later than I had planned, but this took me awhile. Hopefully updates will be a bit more regular in the future! 
> 
> Thank you soooo much for everyone who left comments and kudos!!! <3

Ben leaned against his front door after shutting it. 

—“It was really nice talking to you, Ben.”—

He couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed an evening as much as this one. And he certainly couldn’t remember the last time someone enjoyed his company. It didn’t even bother him hearing that name on her lips- it was like a sweet melody. 

He let out a small sigh. He felt like a teenager, except he was from outer space with unfathomable baggage and misdeeds this poor girl would be repulsed to discover. That thought disturbed him greatly, but there was something more: he recognized something in Rey that gnawed at him, still. When she said she had to help Plutt he saw something in her eyes that he couldn’t forget. He saw it in his own eyes. There was defeat and fear, like a trapped animal, manipulated and used, being thrown around this way and that forced to bend to the will of a relentless ruler. She may not be killing people for him, but that didn’t mean Ben couldn’t still see the remnants of emotional and psychological trauma.

He pondered the thought for a moment. idily slipping his hand into his pocket, he ran his finger over the corner of the otherwise untouched business card there. It was so obvious. He knew what he had to do.

It wasn’t long before Ben slipped into bed, falling asleep with her on his mind.

\---

A thick cloud of dust hung in the air from sand in the surrounding atmosphere. He saw the same girl as before, painfully skinny from malnourishment, tanned skin, and three buns on her head. Last time he saw her she was screaming after a spaceship on a distant desert planet he recognized as Jakku. She was somewhere else now, with plants he had never seen before. They were outside a sandy gas station, likely on earth. Dead trees and balled up twigs scattered the area. The sun beat down unrelentingly. Even in this dreamy state, Ben could feel it sear his skin somehow. Where the girl had been dragged away by a Crolute last time, now a large and misshapen human grabbed her by her hair. Ben could hear dull noise of the man speaking, but he couldn’t understand any of it, as if he was trying to listen through a wall. 

“Let her go!” He exclaimed, though it certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen a child be handled like this, he felt protective of her. However, the girl nor the man noticed Ben. He could hear the girl clearly now, as he stepped towards her. Ben tried to approach, shove the man’s shoulder, anything, but he found his hand just went through the man, as if he was a hologram. He was invisible to them.

She gripped for her hair buns, trying to relieve the stress the man was putting on her. “Let go! I didn’t steal it! I didn’t!” She shrieked, but Ben could sense no fear in her voice. The man mumbled something in response and pulled her inside the small gas station store. Ben followed them, feeling helpless. 

The old building was painted many bright colors, but mostly a mustard yellow, paint peeling from time and ware. The sign above the shop was missing letters; shabby fluorescent lights spelled out “UTT” with big gaps on each side. Ben assumed the other letters would have gone there. Broken glass crunched under his shoes as he stepped inside the shop. The nasty convenience store was very small, with a long hallway leading to the back. The checkered linoleum had not been washed in a decade, it seemed, since his feet stuck to the floor with each step. Flies buzzed around looking for food and spills to feast on. Ben watched distantly as the man dragged the girl down the hallway. Anger riled up in him, but a deeper and stronger voice told him to wait, be patient. So, instead he observed. 

The man grunted and opened the door at the end of the hall. It was made of thin compressed wood, the kind that was flimsy and did nothing to keep out noise. The girl squirmed more as they neared the door. “Don’t lock me in there!”. The brute opened the door and shoved the girl in, letting her fall to the ground from the force of the push. He pulled out a little gold key from his pocket, locking it with his fat fingers. 

Once the man had walked away, Ben focused on the door, placing his hand over the knob. He reached out through the force and found the locking mechanism easily. It didn’t take much focus to shift them until the door unlocked. With a cautious step, Ben entered the room. 

The girl was huddled in the corner of the tiny room. His guess was that it may have been designed as an office, at best. It contained only a bed and dresser- nothing else. Tears silently ran down her cheeks. She looked up at Ben, startle showing in her eyes. He was surprised to see she noticed him now. 

She sniffled loudly, wiping her nose on her sleeve. Closer now, he could see her large doe eyes were reddened from crying. She squared her shoulders and sat up straighter upon seeing Ben, pretending she wasn’t upset. She looked up at him with caution and curiosity, ready to bolt at any sign of trouble, but interested nevertheless. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, kneeling down several feet from her, as not to scare her.  
“How did you get in here? He always locks the door when he thinks I’ve done something wrong.” She ignored his question. Ben could feel his anger- the dark side of him begging him to destroy the scum that did this. His teeth clenched hard, but he knew if he wanted to help the girl, scaring her would do nothing.  
“Who does? What did you do?” He said softly.  
“My foster father.” The little girl shrugged. “He thinks I took money from the register, but all I took was these waters and a snack…” she reached behind her dresser and pulled out two bottled waters and a pack of orange colored fish shaped crackers. She was only seven or eight years old, he thought. But her voice was strong and she spoke bravely. Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. Water was a precious good on some planets in his galaxy, but he thought it was abundant on earth- especially America…

“Do you… do you want some?” She held out the water bottle timidly, little hand shaking. Ben saw a glimmer of hope in her otherwise lonely eyes. She reminded him of himself at that age. Something deep in his chest ached like he had not experienced in years.

“No, keep it for yourself.” he said. He rose to his feet, intent on confronting the man who did this to her. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” 

The sounds around him shifted from muffled to clearer. As he stepped through the doorway, out of the girls room, he found the convenience store was now filled with guns and ammunition in cases and stacked along the walls. A teenage girl with shoulder length hair was standing in the middle of the store confronting the rotund man he saw earlier. The man was larger, older, hairier, and uglier than before. The girl waved her arms in frustration, the yelling becoming clearer as he approached. 

“I’m not doing this anymore!” she said.  
“Oh? I’m sure your parents won’t care if you’re not here when they come looking, then.” He responded, a smug look on his face. The girl looked similar to the child, but Ben could not focus on her whole face. Only features popped out to him, as if the rest was blurry. He felt like he was in a haze; unable to hear or see anything clearly.  
“Please, don’t do this. I’m going to get in trouble.” the girl took on a softer tone.  
“Don’t get caught, then.” the man said gruffly, stomping off to leave them alone in the store.   
Ben could see tears stream down the young woman’s face again. This time, she looked at him hopelessly.

\---

Ben woke up with a pounding headache and a feeling in his chest he was unwilling to identify. He had visions before, like the ones that caused him to flee Snoke, but this was much different. Perhaps being isolated like this was getting to him. Empathy is weakness, Snoke had always said. He pushed down the thoughts and feelings, pulling himself out of bed.

Ben didn’t have a comm device. So, this meant using a payphone was the only option to get ahold of the man that had approached him at the bar. He grumbled over the use of coins on this planet. Operating with hard cash was cumbersome enough, but the existence of metal coins on what claimed to be a modern planet still baffled him. In his own galaxy, they mainly used cryptocurrency or precious metals unless they were in the Outer Rim where simple things like water were valuable. 

Once he finally got ahold of the man, whose name was Kane Bennedict, he gave Ben the address to a bar that would be used for the fight that night and brief instructions of how the fights worked. It seemed easy enough. No one was supposed to die; the fights wouldn’t last long; “patrons” would bet on the winner, and fighters would be paid accordingly. He would go by his First Order name, Kylo Ren, while at the fights. It wasn’t particularly astonishing to him that people would pay to see brutal fights in dingy basements or empty bars, seeing as even robot cage fighting was popular on the less dignified planets of his galaxy. But Ben couldn’t shake the strange feeling of being roped into it all. He was never someone to participate in any form of crime; he preferred order. Earth was just a different situation. But stranger yet, he was actually looking forward to it. 

The day had been spent in gittery anticipation. A chance to finally practice what he was good at. As per his usual routine, he took an early morning jog, followed by any training he could do in his apartment. Maybe after this he could afford to go to a proper training facility- was it called a fitness center here? He tried to focus on his reading, but his body felt too energized to sit. He tried to meditate, but he got distracted when he spotted Rey’s shirt in his closet where he had left it after it dried. 

Now, the sun had finally set and night had come upon the city. Determined and confident, Ben walked toward the bar that would be hosting the underground fights that night. Ben Solo may have gotten a beating or two in his life, but Kylo Ren never lost a fight. He had always revelled in the exhilaration of melee combat. Even in saber combat he chose to lash out physically, using his body against the enemy and taking their own weapons to use against them. Only Snoke could, and had, truly hurt him. But that was through the force. Earth humans didn’t have control of the force, as far as Ben knew. The fights would be easy money.

\------------------------

Rey’s knuckles tapped the wood door of apartment 503 several times before she paused to wait, books held tightly in her arms. She was headed to work the night shift, anyways, she told herself. It just seemed convenient to drop by. She always got more tips when she looked nice, so that’s the only reason she put so much effort into her hair and makeup, she justified. There was nothing wrong with wearing a dress in spring- that’s what spring is for, she lied. The long sleeve floral dress clung to her small waist perfectly, flowing and ending above her knees. She was definitely not trying to impress Ben.

A few moments had passed with no sound from the apartment. She sighed in defeat. Great, he wasn’t home. Opting out of returning the books to her apartment, she deposited three Gryffindor themed Harry Potter books on the floor in front of Ben’s door. She should write a note, she thought. That would be the nice thing to do, plus he would know who the books were from. Rummaging through the small brown leather purse she carried, she found found her pocket sketchbook and flipped to a blank page, ripping it out to write on. 

Never had a blank page seemed so daunting for such a dumb reason; she had absolutely no idea what to say. She wavered between witty or serious. She wasn’t good at this kind of thing, normally she never considered what people thought too much. She was just naturally friendly and made jokes easily. But now, it felt like the fate of the world depended on what she wrote on a piece of paper to a boy- who she definitely didn’t like. They were just friends. 

‘Hope you like them.’ she wrote. No, too expectable...  
‘Now you can act like a normal human’ maybe he wouldn’t think that’s funny..  
‘Here are the books I was telling you about’ and now she was starting to sound cold and informational...

After writing, erasing, pulling out a new piece of paper, and staring at it for what felt like a millennium, she decided to go with the simplest thing: “Thank you” signed with her name. Rey left the note on the books and hurried away before she could force herself to redo it all. 

\------------------------

The bar was covered in grime and wreaked of cigarettes. The basement was where the fights took place. It was damp and musty, smelling of oil from the kitchen and the odors that come with a room full of men- and it was mostly men that attended. 

Ben wrapped his hands in boxer’s tape, trying to avoid unneeded injury. He braided his hair into four rows on the top, ending in a bun keeping half his hair up- a customary Alderanian battle style. It kept the majority of his long waves out of his eyes. It may have been out of place here, but no one said anything. Ben was one of the biggest men there. Some were certainly wider than him, but the fighters’ appearances ranged from tattoo covered scraggly spice addicts to guys that looked like they worked in cubicles during the day. Nothing too challenging, he thought.

—-

Ben was right. Once the fight finally started, he was placed against a very robust bald man with the word “monster” tattooed on his forehead. Kylo- as he went by here- laughed at this; he could show the man what a monster really was. A majority of patrons bet against him. It wasn’t long until he proved them wrong, tapping into the force he was able to draw on his opponents emotions to strengthen himself. Ben could feel the anger and hurt deep inside of this man, begging to be set free, and took that energy to fuel the dark side of the force coursing through his veins. 

Energized and alert, Ben easily anticipated the swings his opponent threw at him. The man’s stage name was “The Beast” he found out, though, he looked much more like a balding bear, with a rotund beer belly. Nevertheless, the large man was enthusiastic with his poorly aimed punches and uncalculated jabs. It didn’t take long for the man to get desperate, with Kylo weaving, dodging, and getting in a few solid hits of his own; for a man of his stature, Kylo was surprisingly agile. 

After awhile, the Beast, finding himself desperate for a win, grabbed a chair, throwing it at Kylo. Kylo anticipated it, jumping into the air, hurdling himself over the chair. When it finally hit the wall, the legs broke in several places, throwing them across the room. The Beast saw this as an opportunity, and dove towards a broken chair leg. This idea made Kylo smile. There was nothing he was better at than weapon combat. It didn’t take long for the brute to swing at Kylo, and for Kylo to disarm him and take the long wooden stick in return. It would do. He twirled the stick several times, just as he would his saber, before lashing out in a backhanded swing. The leg collided with the Beast’s head, splitting open his “monster” tattoo- a calculated move on Kylo’s part. Blood ran down the larger man’s face readily. Kylo circled his prey, waiting to see if it would lash out again or retreat. 

By now the crowds had forgotten their monetary losses and joined in chanting, yelling, flinching, and gasping at each blow Kylo had gotten. Now, more than ever, the room bustled with anticipation. 

The beast stood grasping his knees for support, doubled over and gasping for breath. He was severely out of shape, Kylo thought. The trick wouldn’t work, though. Through the force he could feel the intentions of his enemy. The large man suddenly charged Kylo once more, swinging and hitting Kylo’s shoulder as he moved out of the way, only to be returned by Kylo with another hit to the gut with the stick. This time, the chair leg broke, prompting Kylo to throw it away and use his fists to finish his foe. He found himself blind in the darkness of himself- the only sensation was his fist hitting the Beast several times before the man slumped to the ground. He went after the man, but was jolted out of his trance by several referees pulling him out of the ring. 

He breathed deeply, centering himself in the force once more- at least as well as he could. He was never truly balanced, something he had come to accept. 

Kane had loved it. “Kylo provided massive crowd appeal” and won the house tons of money. There were dozens of fighters lining up to challenge him, apparently. He was given an envelope stuffed to the brim with bills- “extra for all the suckers that lost the bets tonight.” He was invited back the next night, or as often as he would like to fight. 

—————

Ben ran his thumb over the note again, grasping it firmly between his fingers; It was small, but somehow warranted the use of both hands. He smiled down at it. The note, and books for that matter, did something to his heart, causing a warm feeling to spread like he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

He was tired, being pulled into the darkness always did that to him, but the adrenaline and exhilaration of the event left him feeling strong again. Tapping into the force that way, it made him feel right. However, the darkness of the bloodlust lingered too heavily on him, still. He had never been truly dark or light- a curse and a blessing. Drawing from both sources meant that he often had to check one with the other in a vein attempt to find balance like a never ending game of tug-o-war. 

Sleep was fleeting that night. He was plagued by thoughts of Snoke; the sensation of the darkside in him brought back memories he had hid from for so long. 

The next morning, while the dew was still in the air and golden rays of sunlight illuminated it causing a chorus of gold to surround the city, Ben took to the roof coffee in hand. He needed to meditate, reduce this feeling inside of him. 

The fresh air and bright sky helped him breathe deeply. He centered himself. First, observing his own force signature. Then, he was able to look out farther in the city. He tried not to dwell on the signatures in his own apartment building, knowing it would be a distraction. Instead, he looked out on all those around him. Reaching farther, he tested as far as he could into the galaxy. Were there other lifeforms on the surrounding planets? Anyone he could identify? Could he feel his own galaxy from here and get an estimate of its distance? Before he could answer these things, he was overwhelmed with the presence of a brightness. Something so light and good, he couldn’t feel anything else. He focused on it, until the rustling of rocks near him woke him from his trance.

—-

She didn’t normally wake up this early, but she had been feeling restless lately; some deep part of her wanted the solitude of watching the sunrise today, like she was meant to be there. Finding Ben wasn’t a deterrent, however. He sat on the small fold out chair, one long leg folded over the other, resting his ankle on his other knee. He sat still, eyes closed but back straight in some sort of focused state. As she approached, the only sound was the rustling of loose rocks under her feet. 

Ben’s eyes opened at her approach, turning her head to see her. Surprise lit up his eyes.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Rey said, approaching him slowly, clutching a book to her chest.  
“It’s no disturbance” he said quietly. His lips parted ever so slightly and his eyes searched over her. He seemed to be in awe if something. “I was actually just meditating. ” he added. Catching himself staring at her, he snapping to attention, motioning to the chair next to him for Rey to join.   
“Meditating?” To Rey, meditating had always been something hippies or religious people did. She didn’t really know much about it, or any use. But she did know Ben didn’t seem like the kind of guy that meditated, did yoga, or lit incense in his apartment. “Are you religious?”  
Ben pondered the question for some time before letting out a small apathetic chuckle “I suppose not- not anymore anyways. It’s just very… centering. Calming. An old habit, I guess.” There was a bitterness and a solemness in his voice, like the question brought back some old hurt.  
“How do you do it? I can never stop thinking.” Rey admitted. She sat in the chair next to him.  
“You don’t have to stop thinking. You just focus- find your own energy. Reach out and feel the world around you, in a sense.”  
“Hm” the more Rey learned about Ben, the more complicated he seemed. As much as she wanted to learn more about his past, she thought it best to leave it . 

They sat in silence for some time before Ben spoke up. Conversation between the two of them felt so effortless. It wasn’t long before Rey found herself giggling at Ben’s strange remarks, or smiling over the way he listened to her stories. She told him about about arizona, her job, the book she was reading- all the little details of life. He was happy to listen, and asked her questions, adding his own stories to some. 

“They’re called mutants, but they have all these really awesome powers. People don’t get that though. So, a lot of normal humans call them freaks or want to get rid of them.” She explained the basic plot of X-men to him, unsure of how a human could live on earth and not know about it.

Ben seemed to think about that for a long time, recollection reflected in his eyes. 

“I think it’s really cool, though.” She added. “There’s nothing wrong with having powers. People just have to use them the right way.” 

Ben paused, his eyes glued to the ground in front of him before responding. “Being powerful comes with a great burden; whenever something is gained, more must be sacrificed.”   
Rey saw a disturbance in his expression, quiet falling over them for a moment.

“If you had super powers, what would you want?” She asked, attempting to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as he chucked to himself and shook his head. Finally, he looked back to her.  
“I’d like to be invisible sometimes. I never really fit in anywhere. It’d be nice not to be noticed for awhile.” He said  
Rey smiled “I’d like to fly. I’ve never even been on a plane before.”

Ben smiled at her softly. She never felt pitied by him. He seemed to like her curiosity. With him, she never felt like the fragile little orphan so many others treated her like.  
“My father was a pilot.” His voice was gentle- almost wistful, remembering a time long ago. “I’ve been able to fly almost as long as I can remember.” He smiled at that. “Used to help him fix that piece of junk all the time, too.”  
“You know how to fix planes?” Rey asked, completely invested in the conversation. “I would kill for a chance to take a look at one!”

Ben looked taken aback by her statement, leaning in closer “You’re interested in ships?” His eyebrows rose in surprise.  
“Planes?” Rey corrected.  
“Yea- those.”   
Rey laughed at his casual slip.  
“Sorry- we call them ships on Chandrila.” He explained.  
“Like spaceships?” She looked skeptical. “Whatever, space boy.” She laughed, before continuing. “Yes, I’m interested in everything to do with engineering. Of course, my dream is to work on spaceships, planes would be a good start.” This answer brought a large smile to Ben’s face. His smile was that if a kid in a candy shop. Rey could see his pointed canines sticking out. Somehow it was adorable. 

He told her about his father’s adventures as a pilot, how Ben learned to fly, and the times he worked on and even helped design a new prototype “ship”. The stories absolutely mesmerized Rey. She could only imagine how freeing it must be to take to the sky like that. It seemed Ben had experienced everything she had wished for all her life. Seemed.

The sun was high in the sky by the time either of them left the rooftop. 

\--------------

Ben spent each night that week fighting in the clubs. He never got more than a few hits, and nothing really hurt him. The people that came to challenge him were too weak to pose a real threat, so his winnings were good. 

At home, he counted out the bills. Enough for rent, and a “cell phone”- those blasted primitive comm devices they used here. And plenty left over, per the plan. Ben shoved the extra back into the blank envelope, sealing it when he was finished.

The mailroom downstairs smelled like a wet towel. It was dimly lit, even during the day. small boxes with corresponding apartment numbers littered the wall. It didn’t take long for him to find room 501. “Rey Niima”. 

Rey...Niima? Before he could wonder about it too much, footsteps down the hall alerted him someone was approaching. Ben hurried and wrote her name on the envelope, slipping it into her box. She wouldn’t know it was from him.

As the steps grew louder, he busied himself, pretending to be checking his own mail. 

“Oh, hey.” Rey’s roommate said, looking at Ben oddly. Ben responded to the man with a blank stare. “I’m Finn, Rey’s roommate.” He clarified.  
Ben wasn’t in the mood for smalltalk.  
“Rey Niima” Ben gestured toward the box with her name.  
“Yea?” Finn said, confused.  
“What does her last name mean?” Ben asked, only to see the confusion grow to concern on Finn’s face. “Tell me” he flicked his hand and Finn’s eyes glazed over as he began to speak.  
“I don’t know. She didn’t know her last name when they found her. That’s the only thing she’d say when they asked her about her parents or where she was from.” Finn said calmly.   
“Hmm” Ben pondered. It could be a normal last name on earth, but the place sounded familiar to him- otherworldly. “You didn’t see me.” he waved his hand again and Finn’s eyes returned to focus. He looked dazed and confused, but quickly found what he was doing, dropping his letter in the outgoing mail slot as Ben briskly walked away. 

\---

Finn’s head felt fuzzy, but it had been a long day at the university. After class he stayed later to help grade papers for the class he assisted with. It was mind numbing, to say the least. Absentmindedly, he slipped the rent check into the outgoing mail slot; he told Rey he would drop it off for her. He had been staying with her about a month now. He felt bad- he really ought to stay with a different friend, find a more permanent roommate. But then there was rent. Rey was working so much, and trying to save up for university. He liked being able to help her that way. And the only person he knew with availability for a roommate was Rose and, well, did he want to complicate things there? Finn’s thoughts flew around his mind haphazardly, as they usually did after a long day. 

He unlocked the small box that held Rey’s mail: Junk mail, junk mail, an amazon package, a weird envelope with her name on it, and more junkmail. Without thought, he grabbed the pile and dragged himself upstairs. 

\---

Finn dropped a pile of mail and envelopes on the kitchen table carelessly. He had dark circles under his eyes, and moved slowly to the couch, collapsing once he finally reached it. Rey was curled up in a blanket on their accent chair, reading a book before Finn got home. The window was open, allowing in a cool breeze and the ambient sound of rain. 

“Long day?” she asked him. He only grunted in response.   
“Cherish your freedom. Once your a student, its all over.” he said warily. Rey doubted that would ever even happen. With the cost of school, she couldn’t even afford a community college. Then there were other matters…   
“Did you ever ask your creepy boyfriend if he wants to come to our party?” Finn asked nonchalantly.   
“He’s not creepy” she protested, Finn looked at her with skepticism. “or my boyfriend!” she added.  
“Nice save.” he said sarcastically, his lips curling into a grin. “Well, did you?”  
“Not yet…”  
“What are you waiting for?” he proaded.  
“What am I supposed to do, just show up over there and invite him to a party?? I don’t want to seem desperate!” Rey argued, a slight blush covering her cheeks. The truth was, she wasn’t terribly experienced in this area.  
“You have his sweater. Go return it and ‘happen’ to remember the party while you’re there!” Rey shifted in her seat at Finn’s suggestion, her apprehension showing. “Don’t worry, Rey. You’re just making friends. No one can say no to you anyways.” he assured her. Finn always had a kindness that made up for his obnoxious teasing. 

Rey pulled herself out of her chair and to the kitchen, where she retrieved a small paper bag.   
“Thank you.” she said, sitting next to Finn and handing him one of the cookies from the bag.  
“Oh my gosh- work cookies. You’re the best!” he exclaimed, suddenly perking up from his exhaustion.

—————

She had dropped off the books earlier. That was easy enough, maybe he wouldn’t be home again. They’d run into each other several times since then. Why did this seem so much different than their rooftop meetups or run ins in the hallway?

She clutched the sweater in her hands. She would be lying if she said she didn’t wear it to sleep that night he gave it to her a week ago. And maybe she’d slipped it on one a cold day, but it was just convenient. 

Rey knocked on the door several times, waiting in anticipation. It didn’t take long for the door to swing open, revealing Ben. His hair was tousled and damp from a recent shower. He smiled warmly upon seeing her.

“Locked out again?” He chided.  
She faked a laugh sarcastically. “No, I actually thought I should bring your sweater back.” She lifted up the sweater, gesturing toward him.  
“Oh! I have your shirt.” He remembered, opening the door wider. “Come on in.”

Rey was surprised to see the apartment had a few new items. The kitchen seemed better stocked, and a few more maps had been hung up: one showed the Milky Way galaxy, one of the world, and the original of the US. He even got a desk and chair, covered in papers, leather bound notebooks, and writing utensils of all sorts. Counterintuitively, it seemed he slept on the ground, which she asked him about.

“Eh” he shrugged, pulling her shirt out of his closet. “I got used to it.”  
She arched an eyebrow at him, as if to say ‘what kind of sane Person sleeps on the floor?’.  
“We had to a lot when I was younger.” He clarified, though it only puzzled her more. His mom was a politician, so why not have beds? She didn’t ask, but he seemed to notice her confusion.  
“I- I actually lived with my… uncle for a long time.” He said, muttering the familial word with some distaste. “He had an academy, so to say, and it involved a lot of travel to foreign places. It wasn’t very uncommon for us, the other students and I, to sleep on the ground.”  
“Oh wow, that sounds really neat! How long were you there?” She said with excitement. She immediately regretted her words when she saw the color drain from Ben’s face. He pursed his lip, inhaling deeply before continuing.   
“Thirteen years… we had an argument. Haven’t seen him since.” She could hear the pain in his words; but more than that she could feel his anxiety- the little tremors that ran through his hands as he reached out to hand her the shirt.   
“I’m sorry.” She said quietly. She couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense that Ben had spent most of his life without happiness, and she desperately wanted to change that.

He shook his head to indicate his dismissal of it without saying a word, but still gave her a weak smile, though his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Oh, hey, before I forget-“ Rey began, tenseness lingering in her voice ever so slightly. “Finn always has these parties. They’re not really parties, more like friendly get together. Nothing too wild. He thinks it’s good for me, to get out and all. Says it’s healthy.” She paused, stalling slightly.  
Ben laughed at the thought “On what kind of sick planet do people consider partying healthy?” He joked.  
Rey giggled at this, regaining her casual tone. “Right?! Anyways, I’m introverted and I’d rather not go, but it’s in my home. Would you like to come to one tomorrow night?” She asked, smile growing on her face.  
“You’re asking me to go to something you don’t want to be at?” He chided.  
“Well, yes. So I won’t be alone!”  
“I might not be good company” he answered, tugging at the back of his hair. Definitely not flexing on purpose.   
Rey huffed at this. “Oh, shut up. I happen to enjoy your company.” 

Ben couldn’t help but smile at this. Maybe he didn’t want to go to a party, but her compliment seemed to win him over. 

“I’ll go for you- but no promises I’ll survive.” He teased.


	6. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, finally an update!! I’m not abandoning this story, but some chapters are just taking longer than expected. Thank you for your patience and support! :)
> 
> NOTE: This is mostly from Ben’s perspective, so he sees Poe as very different than who he actually is. Ben’s view of Poe is very tinted based on past experiences- as we will explore in future chapters. He just has a hard time understanding certain personalities, so he interprets their actions wrongly. We’ll see more of Poe in the future, too. Don’t worry!

Kane insisted Ben have a comm device so that he could contact him easier. Ben had no idea what he was getting himself into. Standing in the middle of the specialized tech store, he stuck out like a sore thumb. There were no droids on this planet, and their pathetic excuse for artificial intelligence could barely understand its commands and was confined to the immobile body of a handheld device. Useless. To make matters worse, the pitiful things were quite expensive and didn’t even project holograms. The more he learned, the more irritable he became, missing the technology of his own galaxy. 

He tapped at the screen of one of the devices, but nothing happened.  
“That’s our new iPhone X! A great deal.” Said a far too cheerful worker. He boy was young- Ben wasn’t even sure if he could be considered an adult. The permanent smile pasted on his face showed he was a weak minded complacent worker. This made Ben scowl. The formalities of earth workers were unnecessary and inefficient; their fake friendliness was only a thin veil- a weak attempt to hide their distaste for the public and greed, scheming of ways to make more money. 

When Ben didn’t respond, the worker continued. “It doesn’t work with gloves, unfortunately, but we have gloves that are iPhone compatible against the wall.” His voice grew timid as Ben’s mood worsened, easily readable on his face.  
“You’re telling me” he said slowly without attempting to hide the venom in his voice. “The idiots who made this expect me to pay as much as my rent costs for a device that fails to recognize the simple signal of a gloved hand?”  
“Well... it’s spring. It should be cold out too much longer.” The young man said with confusion tinged with fear. 

This was not what Ben wanted to hear. He was getting tired of earth life; he was sick of being outside of his comfort zone. He felt tired and burnt out and the idea of not wearing gloves terrified him- though fear was not an emotion he would admit to having. He had worn those gloves every day for the past five years, protecting him from the outside world, and more importantly, protecting his deepest secrets and inner thoughts from prying minds. Or, at least they protected him from the additional vulnerability of skin contact; one could learn a lot from a simple touch.

“Fuck” he said under his breath.  
The boy gulped deeply, unable to walk away, but clearly in fear of Ben. Good to know that swear word was the same on earth.  
“Just give me the stupid thing.” He muttered in defeat.  
“G-great. We just- just need to choose a plan... if you don’t mind. So you can use it!” The worker stuttered. His useless voice began to drone on about “data plans” and “gigs”: a unit of memory ben was not familiar with. Ben recognized each item the man mentioned as a useless attempt to up-sell him. Frustration grew in him until he was desperate to escape the waste of time and space.

“Just give me the best!” He interrupted the droning boy.  
“Y-yes, sir!” The boy scrambled to his computer, asking ben for his personal information that he’d rather not give and typing into the computer. 

Ben didn’t touch the phone until he got home in the confines of his apartment where he didn’t risk bumping into anyone. No one on earth was force sensitive. It didn’t matter. But the sensitivity was ingrained deeply in his soul. 

————

 

“Sure, I can be there tomorrow.” Rey said reluctantly into her phone as she hurried around the apartment, cleaning before their guests got there. Finn was preoccupied in the kitchen making his famous guacamole and a casserole for the group. Normally, Rey would put minimal effort into these gatherings, but she was actually looking forward to this one. Plutt had called her about coming in the next day, but she wouldn’t let that sour her mood.

“Right, of course.” She rolled her eyes at Plutt’s rude response on the other side of the phone as she scooped up that week’s mail Finn had left on the table, pausing to look at one envelope with her name on it- no address or sender name either. 

She ripped open the envelope to peak inside expecting some advertisement or a card from a friend. Instead, she saw a stack of several hundred dollar bills. There must have been $1,500 in there! She let out an audible gasp before the fire alarm started going off. She quickly threw the envelope into her side table drawer and hung up the phone to help Finn. He was flapping a towel in the air to divert the smoke. 

“It’s fine! It’s fine! I got this!” He yelled with a fake smile.  
“I’ll order pizza then…” she muttered. 

It must have been Plutt- bribe money for witnessing the deal. She would ask him tomorrow, but she tried to forget about it for now. No need to worry more.

—————-

Night had finally fallen on the city, and it was time for Rey’s party. Ben paced inside his apartment, thinking over it again and again. He felt like a teenager. Except, as a teenager he didn’t really go to parties. And he’s now 28 years old. And he was far too socially awkward for this. Nervously, he held the compass in his hands- something he had taken to in an attempt to calm his nerves. The pointed to his door again, as if telling him to go outside for once. He rolled his eyes at it befor setting it on the counter again. 

Summoning all the courage he could, Ben took a deep breath and crossed the hallway to Rey’s apartment. He knocked softly, hoping no one would hear so he had an excuse to go home. But Rey- he wanted to see Rey.

As soon as he had knocked on the door, it flew open to reveal a smiling man, whose smile immediately dimmed at the sight of Ben. 

“I’m Finn, Rey’s roommate.” The man held out his hand hesitantly. Ben reluctantly took it in a firm handshake, accidentally making the man wince slightly from his hold. It was clear Finn did not remember their mailroom run in- good, Ben thought. “You’re Ben, right?” Finn asked when Ben had not offered any information after his introduction.

The question posed to Ben was not one he had taken time to consider. He could choose to continue with the name he has allowed Rey to call him, or go back to the title Snoke bestowed upon him. He didn’t have long to think about it before he answered.

“Sure.” 

Upon entering the apartment, he found it was busier than he has expected. Compared to the parties he had seen in back alley shady establishments, this was mild and empty. However, he had only expected a few people. The apartment was bustling with a good dozen people lingering in the kitchen, living room, and balcony. He scanned the crowd desperately for Rey. 

“Ben!” She called from the kitchen, busy with food preparation. “I’m glad you could make it. I’m just finishing up here. Make yourself at home! Everyone is friendly!” she gestured to the crowd as if it wasn’t a terrifying mob of the unknown. Ben nodded, forcing a not-so-reassuring smile. She beamed back at him with her ever radiant smile before turning back to what she was doing.

Ben surveyed the apartment slowly, taking in all the details he could. He shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling unfathomably small yet so largely out of place; it was as though he was completely invisible and truly terrified of being seen. He didn’t know where to stand. Everywhere seemed to be in the way, and he wasn’t about to approach one of the groups of people to make small talk. 

Ben Solo was always and awkward and shy boy. In the First Order, he always knew his place. He had an assignment, a job, and authority. No one questioned his silence or asked him to be social. No, they cowered in fear at the threat of him, and respected his every decision. Here, people looked at him like the freak the students at Luke’s academy saw him as. After less than a minute of standing in that room he felt his anxiety boiling up in him to the point he considered running out of the room- a weakness he was ashamed of feeling. 

Finn must have spotted Ben’s trepidation as he approached Ben to drag him into a small group of people. “This is Jess and Matt.” he introduced them. Ben waved awkwardly, trying his best to avoid more handshakes. Ben endured the uncomfortable nature of small talk, offering as little as possible to the conversation. He did his best to ignore Jess’ obvious advances and compliments.

Not after too long, he spotted Rey walking toward him. He nearly ran out of the group to get her alone. 

—

“So, you haven’t died yet” Rey said with mirth as Ben approached her with a panicked look on his face. Rey swiped two beers from the cooler, giving one to Ben.  
“Thanks- That’s true, but it doesn’t mean I won’t if I keep having to make small talk.” He responded.  
Rey laughed, walking closer to him. “Don’t be so dramatic!” she reached out to touch his forearm lightly. That kind of lingering touch she’d seen so many other people do- something to show a little extra affection. But Ben flinched at her touch ever so slightly. She could see his muscles grow tense and shoulders rise in defence. Rey yanked her hand back in retreat. 

“I- s- sorry.” She stuttered, hand still hovering near him. She could see Ben swallow nervously, processing something deep inside of him. She could almost feel emotions rush over him- some realization and hurt brought up, and a kind of determination. It felt like she was experiencing his feelings. She was like that, once, too. It reminded her of the little girl she once was flinching at the rising volume of Plutt’s screaming, or dodging the junk he threw at her when she made mistakes.

She could have sworn she saw a tremble in Ben’s hand as he reached out to her, pushing her hand back to the place on his arm she had touched.  
“No- its okay” he looked at her with awe in his eyes, and the warmest smile she had ever seen from him. His giant hand lingered, engulfing her own before he removed it.  
“Sit with me?” she said, warmth spreading across her cheeks.  
Ben nodded in response, as Rey ran her hand down his arm, lingering at his wrist before letting go.

\--

Rey touched him. Rey really touched him. And now they were sitting on a couch only millimeters apart. Her knee was so close to his. Holy shit. He could just lean his knee against hers and they would basically be cuddling. He had never cuddled with anyone before. He hadn’t even been touched affectionately like that for the better half of his adulthood. He did lean his knee against hers, and was shocked when she didn’t scoot away in horror. 

“You’re not wearing gloves today.” Rey pointed out.  
“Oh yes. Phones don’t work with gloves apparently.” Ben said bitterly. His lack of understanding about earth must have entertained Rey endlessly, because she let out an amused laugh.  
“I was actually wondering, why do you wear them, anyways?  
“Skin contact can reveal a lot about a person…” Ben questioned his own automatic response before voicing his thoughts. “I don’t know, maybe it’s just an old habit that needs to die.” After all no one there could get anything out of him. 

Rey nodded, listening to him intently before she moved to slip off her jacket with the rising temperature of the room. Without her tan long cardigan, her sleeveless black dress showed off her figure. Ben felt himself gawking at her out of the corner of his eye, so he decidedly sipped from his beer as a distraction. Just because she enjoyed being around him didn’t give him the right to stare at her. Still, he knew his feelings for her were intensifying. 

“Rey!” a shrill voice called out from the door to the apartment. A young woman walked through the door waving in their direction. Rey raised her right hand in response, bringing a small marking on her forearm into view.

“What’s that?” Ben asked, curiously.  
“Oh my tattoo!” she responded with a smile. The girl that waved was giving her a quick side hug when she added “I got it when I turned 18.”  
“Heh, not exactly the kind of celebrating I did when I became legal.” the girl said.  
“Jess!” Rey fussed.  
Ben looked at her quizzically, completely unsure of what that meant or why it was something to fuss about. That was a question for later. Now, this tattoo looked familiar.  
“Can I see it?”  
She turned to face him, offering her arm. It sat just at the top of her forearm. He reached out a hand hesitantly hovering over it to trace the lines, but never touching her.  
“I designed it myself” she said proudly.  
“It looks like a constellation” he admired. Several dots were connected with lines, and one in the center was red, highlighting its importance. There were stars surrounding them- were they planets then? It looked like the maps he would use while navigating a ship. But… this formation looked familiar.  
“Oh, it is. But it’s not real. I just made it up.” Ben’s face twisted in surprise. He could have sworn he had seen it somewhere.

“I’m sorry- what did she mean by legal?” his mind jumped to the conversation he had witnessed, choosing not to dwell on the tattoo for now.  
“Oh! You know, legal adults? Is it a different age in Chandrila?”  
“What do people normally do when they become… ‘legal’?” he questioned. The wording was very strange. It made it sound like they were somehow illegal or inslaved before a certain age...  
“Well, you can vote, get tattoos, or gamble, but most people want to have sex. Not that most of them haven’t already done it by then…”  
“Oh, right.” he replied stiffly.  
“I mean, not me- I mean- I just- I haven’t dated much. Or at all… I mean I’ve been on dates, just not…”  
“Me neither. Dating, that is.” In all truth, Ben Solo has only kissed a girl once, during a game of spin the lightsaber. He was very familiar with biological needs, and human anatomy… he just hadn’t participated in it. And dating was impossible, being a Jedi and then in the First Order.  
“It’s just difficult- finding the right person and all.” Rey elaborated.  
“Work and all...” Ben added.  
“Yea!” 

The awkwardness settled over them in a thick silence.

“I’m gonna grab another drink. Would you like one?” Rey said, clearly looking for an out.  
“Sure” 

On her way to the kitchen, he let his eyes trace the edges of the room. The crowd had died down, leaving maybe 5 or 6 people. He saw Rose and Finn still talking in the kitchen, and that touchy woman Jess with Matt and another standing on the balcony. Soon, another person entered. A boisterous man with curly dark hair barged through the front door with a large grin on his face and a six pack in hand. 

“Rey! Come here, beautiful.” The man placed the beer onto the counter and embraced Rey in a close hug. The display made Ben’s blood boil. The man left his hand on Rey’s waist as he talked to her closely, making her giggle. It was a horrific thing to watch. Finn was one thing, but it had become clear to Ben that he was no threat. This man, however, touched her too intimately for Ben’s taste. Perhaps it was the jealousy or possession that spurred him to admit it to himself, but he knew he cared deeply for Rey in a way he hasn’t felt for anyone else in a long time... or ever. He may be no good for her, but he wasn’t about to stand by and watch some playboy take the closest thing he had to a genuine friend. 

Ben stood to intercept the conversation, but as soon as he did, he saw the man move on to the next group of people. Ben observed for a while, seeing how this guy floated about the room charming every woman he could. Disgusting, Ben thought. He was the life of the party. He made people laugh. They way he stood so nonchalantly reminded Ben of something. The thought struck him like a train. Oh, he hadn’t seen anyone like this in so long. That irresponsible, flighty, self absorbed, flyboy charm. Yes, this man was a horrific imitation of his father. The idea made him sick. He walked swiftly to the balcony, glaring daggers at the couple standing out there. 

“Let’s go inside” one of them muttered before they hurried off. That was the first interaction with a stranger that put a smile to Ben’s face. Maybe it was a little perverse to enjoy striking fear into the hearts of others, but if it meant he could be left alone it was worth it.

He pulled out his phone, trying to distract his mind from the memory of his father. Sure, he could share some stories with Rey about his flying experiences, but seeing someone reflect the reality of Han Solo was something else. He wouldn’t dare admit he had loved his father dearly. But all he could think about was the disappointment, the smuggling, the abandonment… when he let Ben go to Luke, when he didn’t visit, before that- when he left Ben and his mother so often… 

“Angry birds?” Rey’s soft voice jolted Ben out of his distraction.  
“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I have no idea why I’m doing this.” He admitted, exiting out of the game.  
“Do you play any video games?”  
“I used to play some holo games when I was really young.” He wasn’t sure if it was the same, though.  
“Holo-games? Is that a type of gaming system?”  
“I guess, yea.” 

Rey smiled at him. When she did that he felt like his worries were somehow insignificant. She stepped closer, fearlessly slipping his phone out of his hand. However, their fingers never touched. Ben watched her with big astonished eyes.  
She opened his contacts with ease, apparently familiar with the system. His only contact was Kane Benedict. That is, until she began to enter her own info.

“You should have someone to text. Ya know- in case you get bored.” She gave him a confident smile, putting the phone back into his hand. Ben, not so confident, could feel his cheeks flush to a bright red. He didn’t know what to say.

“These video games- adults play them too?”  
he asked. He hasn’t played any form of a game in many years, unless one were to could battle as a game.  
“Yea. I have lots!”  
He was surprised and curious. “Maybe you could show me some time.”  
“I’d love to.” Rey replied softly. 

Ben had watched Rey weave in and out of groups with the social grace of a queen, from his perspective anyway. It made him realize how inept he must be. How abnormal he was. The party had weaned down to only six of them. Ben had the mind to bolt any second, but he wouldn’t be leaving as long as that Casanova was there. The group of them sat around the coffee table. Meanwhile, Ben was praying no one would talk to him and they would all leave so he could be left alone with his Rey… why did he think she was his? Must be the booze talking.

Poe was finishing his upteenth story of his time in the military when the conversation shifted.  
“So, talk dark and mysterious, where are you from?” Jess leaned in to ask. Ben realized she was talking to him after a beat.  
“Uh… Canada.” he now knew enough geography to make up an answer. He didn’t see Rey’s brows crease at the answer.  
“Oh, neat, eh!” She jokes in a Canadian accent. Ben, however, knew nothing about that. So, the joke went over his head leaving him to stare at her blankly.  
“So, what do you do?” Poe asked.  
“I'm in between jobs right now.” Ben lied. Rey furrowed her brows more.  
“Well, what did you do in the past?”  
“Are you always this nosy?” Ben snapped.  
He could feel Rey tense at his irritation. “Poe is a pilot! I’m sure you two have a lot in common you just don’t-“  
“I doubt that.” Ben responded flatly.  
“Okaaay” Finn said, voicing his discomfort. “Rose, you’re going to that concert next month?”  
“Yea! I-“ she began.  
“Do you have a problem with me? Or do you always sulk like this?” Poe interrupted, directing his accusation at Ben.  
“Poe, I think you drank too much.” Finn said, trying to diffuse the situation. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time Poe had gotten this way.  
“I don’t have a problem with you. I just know an irresponsible flyboy when I see one and I’m not interested in that self absorbed shitstorm.” Ben bit back with ferocity.  
Finn laughed nervously, reaching out to put his hand on Poe’s shoulder. What seemed like a friendly touch was more like a plea for the man to stay seated.  
“I honestly don’t know what Rey sees in you!” Poe spit out.  
“The feelings mutual! I think it would be best if I left.” He said with resignation as he got up to leave. A few large steps and he was at the door.  
“Ben- wait!” Rey called out, following after him. She made sure to direct a vicious glare at Poe before shutting the door behind her. 

—-

“Ben,” he stopped in the hall at her voice. “They were trying to get to know you- you know, like friends do.” She tried to soften her voice. She knew Poe agitated the situation, but Ben’s initial response to their friendliness was getting to her:

“Look, I’m not who you think I am. I’m not a nice guy. I can’t fit in with your friends and hang out at parties and act like my life is normal.” Ben replied bitterly.  
“Maybe if you stopped lying to everybody you wouldn’t have such a hard time. You told them you were from Canada! Is Chandrila even a real place or do you think this is some fucking joke? Like, I trust you with everything and you get to laugh when all you give me are lies in return?”

That was her fear- that she was some game to him. She took everything he said as the truth and the lies he fed to her friends made her question that. She had never really opened herself up to anyone like this, in such a short time, too… 

“You want the truth, Rey? I'm from a war torn universe no one in America has even heard of. What do you want me to say!? ‘Hi, I’m Ben Solo, my past jobs include being an assassin, and fighting against my mother’s rebellion.’?” Rey’s face went pale with disbelief as he continued. “That’s right. My uncle trained me to help their cause and I turned against them. Now, I’m in this godforsaken city trying to fit in because I’m a deserter and a coward!”  
It was hard to get words out with all the information he had just sprung on her. She understood being a soldier, fighting for a cause, but against your family? “You- how could you? You have parents- they gave a damn about you and you turned against them? After all that you don’t even bother to go back to them- when you can. You have that option: to have a family again.” Didn’t he understand how much she would give for that opportunity?  
“You don’t understand. Your parents threw you away like garbage, too; I thought you would understand.” he said desperately.  
“Then please, grace me with your explanation!”  
“It’s not that simple! I have to be here. This is the only way they can be safe. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen their deaths because of me. Here- you’re so safe here. Me, I was born into war. My mother was born into war, and my grandfather was born into war. I have done things you can’t imagine. I’ve killed so many for this war, even my friends at the request of- of- a leader hiding behind a hologram.” his voice was frantic now. He didn’t yell, but she could physically feel the chaos of his emotions.

Hesitantly, she stepped backward toward her apartment. Rey looked at him with betrayal in her eyes. She had trusted him; related to him; and seen everything she ever wanted in his life; he had a family with parents, however imperfect, seemed to love him. They had the perfect jobs and interests and the stories made Rey think about how kind they must have been. But he still chose to betray them. She knew betrayal, the sting of it and the purposeful thought that went into it. Betrayal was something that came from the most rotten parts of one’s heart. And coming from him, it stung more than she could have imagined. 

Just when she was ready to walk away forever, his quiet voice spoke up with one last statement. “Where I’m from, we’re not like you. To you, I’m just some freak. There’s a darkness in me I can’t control. Luke knew that. We didn’t get into an argument, Rey. He tried to kill me because he saw what I would become. A monster.”

The statement knocked the air out of her lungs. She had no words, only the tear streaming down her face. She didn’t know how to accept or process anything he said, or if he would even want her to. 

Before she could answer, Ben retreated to his apartment.  
“I’m sorry.” He said faintly- the first apology he had earnestly given in a long time. 

Rey slinked back into her apartment, wiping her eyes to hide any signs of distress before her friends saw her. Poe, Jess, Finn, and Rose hushed as soon as the door opened. 

“He has work in the morning, just had to go home early anyways.” Not even a believable excuse, but her friends didn’t push it.  
“I thought-“ Poe began before Jess smacked his arm.  
“Ya know, I think Poe is wasted.” Rose said, making obvious eyes at the others to follow along.  
“No, I’m n-“ another smack from Jess stopped him mid sentence.  
“I think we’re gonna make sure he gets home okay.” said Finn.

Rey knew it was a lie; they were just giving her space. She was thankful for that, retreating to the solitude of her room as soon as they left.

Poe kept his head down as he left until Jess jabbed him one last time.  
“Sorry, didn’t mean to upset your friend.”  
Rey sighed heavily. “It’s not totally your fault.”

Sleep sounded cathartic, but it didn’t come quickly. Instead, she laid on her bed staring at the ceiling and replaying their interactions over and over again. Some of it made her smile, some made her blush, but it always came back to the rotten feeling their argument left her with. Normal people had arguments about what color to paint their living room, or who cheated in a video game, not family stealing, war, and murder. What could she expect when one is a thief and the other is a warrior?

What stood out to her the most was that it bothered her so much. She barely knew Ben. He could just be some dyllusional creep or psychopath living next door, but she felt an unexplainable connection to him. 

Ben’s earlier words came into her mind meditation is very centering, calming- 

Desperate for clarity, she sat up on her bed, crossed her legs, straightened her back, and breathed deeply. 

-You don’t have to stop thinking. You just focus- find your own energy. Reach out and feel the world around you.- 

Rey focused on her breathing, attempting to look inside herself. She felt an energy inside her that was always there, but focusing made it seem clearer. Soon, it felt natural. She could feel the turbulent energy in her building, one spot chaotic and fluctuating. she tried to reach out farther; it was like she could feel life and death, the bustling of the city, noise and quiet, but the chaos much closer called to her. Whether it was her imagination, a dream, or something more, curiosity overtook her. She focused on the light and dark swirling in a perfect storm across the hallway from her.

Blackness descended over her, bringing her back to that familiar atmosphere that plagued her dreams. Hues of blue and grey dimly lit a forested aclove. Surrounded by leafy trees that spanned out so largely that light could scarcely make it through to the ground. Only dim sunlight streamed through the gaps of the leafs. The trees were green, but the colors were muted wherever she looked. 

In the distance, she saw a hooded figure. Different than the dark one from her nightmares, this man wore dark browns, and was much smaller and less imposing than the other. He walked slowly toward the aclove, hood lifted to cover his bearded face. 

Once he approached, two others and a child entered the acclove opposite of him. Rey could not focus on their faces, only certain features stood out. The woman was very small and dressed in elaborate clothing. Her hand lay on the boy’s shoulder; the same boy from her previous dreams. His hair was shorter this time, freshly cut for the occasion. They must have been a family. The man with them shared the boy’s strong nose and jawline. She wanted to move closer, but she was afraid they would see her- though, she wasn’t sure if anyone could see her.

The boy looked very solemn, his eyes turned downward while he dragged his feet towards the hooded man. 

“Come on, Ben.” His mother insisted. Her husband walked next to her lackadaisically, hands in his pockets. He didn’t say a word. 

When they approached the hooded man, he pushed his hood down, revealing a calm smile.  
“Princess” He exclaimed, reaching out his arms. The boy darted to hide behind his father while his mother embraced the man in a hug

“It’s good to see you, Luke.” She replied.  
The man kneeled down, closer to the boy’s height now. “Han! Ben!”  
“It’s okay, kid.” His dad urged, though his expression said otherwise.  
“He’s been so excited about this. I don’t know why he’s upset now.” His mom explained.

The family chatted for some time before they had to part. When his mother hugged him, Rey realized they were leaving the boy behind. He started to cry profusely. No amount of promises or reassurances from his parents helped. 

“We’ll see you soon.”  
“Chewy and I will visit.”  
“You’re going to do great. I’m sure you’ll make friends.”  
“Maybe a girlfriend, too.” 

The two parents took turns offering encouragement, but Rey could feel something much deeper from the boy than sadness- a deep fear and feelings of abandonment.

“Please don’t leave me here.” He cried.  
“It’s for the best.” His mother said, patting his head before retreating into the darkness of the tree line. The boy was left sniffling at his uncle’s side. 

After some silence she could hear his soft words of resignation. “Why do they think I’m a monster?”

 

Darkness edged her vision, and it wasn’t long before the scene she observed changed. 

Suddenly, Rey found herself in the darkness of a stone hut only lit by streams of moonlight. A young man with dark hair and soft features laid on a cot in the corner of the room. The same hooded man from earlier stood by his bed, with more grey in his beard this time. 

His hand outstretched towards the boy, his eyes were closed in concentration. Something seemed to disturb him. What, she could not tell. Suddenly, the familiar mechanical sound and a green light illuminated the room. It was like the red sword she had seen so many times before, but this one was much more stable. Her instinct was to yell and scream to wake up the young man, but she found she couldn’t- she was only a silent observer trapped in another’s dream, or memory. 

To her relief, the young man awoke in time. His hand outstretched, the hilt of a sword flew into his hands from across the room. Rey gasped, never seeing such a thing before. He ignited it, shining blue and clashing against the green.

“Ben, no!” Were the last words she heard before the bricks of the hut came tumbling down. 

She was left in total darkness. Her body felt cold. Faintly, as if in the distance, voices rang out- yelling and the slashing sounds of those swords. The only clear thing was a stabbing pain in her chest until she heard a voice.

“They have betrayed you. The Jedi have turned on you- evil creatures.”

The voice was vile, croaky, and absolutely dead.

“You have nowhere to go now. Only I can save you now.” 

Rey opened her eyes, gasping for breath. The experience was so realistic, it took her some time to realize she was sitting on her bed. Goosebumps covered her arms. Meditating was supposed to be peaceful. That was not peaceful. Her dreams had been getting worse and worse, each one more realistic than the last. This time, she was beginning to doubt they were dreams. She believed in a lot of things, but visions seemed like too much. Still, that boy’s desperate eyes called to her. The details blurred, but by now she couldn’t deny the similarities between him and Ben Solo. She would be delusional to think she could actually see that man’s past, but what if it was a sign. She shouldn’t give up on him. 

Maybe she was wrong about him. And in that short conversation, she had seen the undoing of Ben Solo and heard the most intimate pains he had experienced. She still had a lot of questions and unprocessed emotions, but the way Ben flinched under her touch and the empty eyes of the little boy in her dreams haunted her. Rey wasn’t sure if she believed in fate, or visions, or Divine intervention, but the timing and similarities were too much for her to shake off. And she knew the signs of abuse when she saw them, where it came from didn’t matter. It was entirely possible that Ben Solo was just a lost boy in need of some kindness, and that was a gamble she was willing to take. After all, she wasn’t too far off from being there too. 

She marched across the hall in determination to firmly knock on his door. Hand lifted, ready to make contact with the wood, the door swung open before she could. Ben looked at her with confusion, biting his lip in thought. 

—-

If she was going to tell him off for being the pitiful and bitter creature he was, she could now. It would probably be best for her to get it over with anyways. This morning he was sure this woman was his fate, but seeing how normal humans interact made him realize how absolutely wrong he was for her. He hated half her friends, Rose and Finn were okay but he couldn’t shake his jealousy. He wasn’t sociable or likable like her. Worse, his past was unexplainable and dark. Even his present involved a violent and illegal job, drawing from his anger issues and the dark side. Why she was knocking on his door at 2 am was beyond him.

She stood before him with furrowed brows, showing concern- or was it hurt? He opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him. Rey, however small and unimposing she may seem, proved her tenacity time and time again; without warrant the girl stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, pointing her toes to reach. 

The sensation caught Ben off guard, freezing him in his spot. All of his muscles tensed in a fight or flight response, causing him to go rigid. His breath caught in his throat, ending in a sharp inhale. He didn’t even have the sense to lean down to her height. He wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that before she spoke up.

“Ben..?”  
“Hm?” Was all he could force out.  
“I’m hugging you.” She said, matter of fact.  
“Oh.”  
“Relax.” 

He listened to her, finally letting out his bated breath slowly. He allowed his muscles to relax, melting into her embrace. His arms raised timidly to curl around her waist. Ben rested his head on her shoulder, letting him feel the way stands of her hair tickled his face and how she smelled ever so slightly of vanilla. 

He had never felt anything so gentle in his life; he wasn’t entirely foreign to the concept of a hug, but it had been over a decade since he really had one, and none had felt as placid as this. 

Once he had embraced her fully, she finally spoke.  
“You’re not a monster.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Luke's compass that we see in Battlefront 2 and TLJ. The compass used to belong to Ben. While it is speculated that the compass held a map to Ahch-To, I thought it would be an interesting concept if there was a compass that would lead a force sensitive person to where the cosmic force willed, even without traditional means of travel.
> 
> I did take a few artistic liberties with the force and this idea, but "fold space" is a force power mentioned in legend lore http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fold_space
> 
> And if you aren't familiar with Luke's compass, here it is. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luke_Skywalker%27s_compass  
> For the purposes of this story, Ben has a different compass that was made as its counterpart.


End file.
